Page 34 of Dance for Me
No, that wasn’t right either. It wasn’t Braun she’d given up on, it was herself. And there went another chunk of pride as she admitted she thought she wasn’t worthy of fighting for. Her future, her happiness, came second to whoever held control over her life.
Her parents.
Alicia.
Braun.
Liam.
The five people who could make her dance to any tune but her own if they so chose to, and of those five, there were three who would happily see her dance to her grave. Because they could. Because it amused them.
Because she deserved it.
“Not quite there yet, are we?” Fingers nudged her chin up until her blurry vision focused on the face she’d dreamed of in the few hours her body stole every night. “Wondered how long it would take for you to recover from that tempest.”
“You set me up.” Shit, her voice was toast.
“You left me no choice. As far as I was aware, we shared something special—certainly nothing I’ve ever felt before.” His thumb smoothed over her dry lips. “Next thing I know, you’ve taken off without a word and ignore not only me, but every authority figure in the club. How long did you think you’d get away with it?”
Apparently, they were going to go straight at it, Bodie mused. Braun wasn’t shouting at her, but he definitely wasn’t happy with her. Well, he’d have to join the queue—she wasn’t overjoyed with how she’d reacted that night. “I wasn’t trying to get away with anything.”
“Bodie, you’ve been harder to pin down than a greased-up pig at the state fair. Liam’s been pulling his hair out, Jasper’s under the impression you hate him, and I’m wondering what the fuck I did wrong that scared you so damn much you’d pull a stunt like this.”
She waited for her hackles to bristle at his accusation of scaring her, then took a breath when they didn’t so much as twitch. Her inner bitch remained quiet, which was a miracle in itself. “I panicked,” she confessed, and waved goodbye to another piece of her pride. “I wasn’t thinking, and by the time I calmed down...I didn’t know how to get back from where I stranded myself.”
“It was a kiss, little one. I’m assuming that’s the root of the problem.”
The giant root, she thought in disgust. “No one’s ever...that wasn’t just a kiss for me, Braun. It was a fucking epiphany. If we hadn’t stopped, I’d have asked for more. More for me is terrifying. Not just sex, but acquiescing control. I just wanted time to wrap my head around it all.” There, that didn’t sound so bad, did it?
Blue eyes roamed over her face as though sensing a lie. “Did someone hurt you, Bodie?”
A laugh huffed free, sad and dull. “Everyone. One way or another.”
Something dark passed over his features before he schooled them into something more measured. “Anyone you’d like me to beat the shit out of? I’m more than happy to oblige.”
This time her laugh was lighter. She could just imagine her big strong Dom standing up to the monster who was her father without fear; the only problem was she couldn’t bet on who’d win between them.
Braun was a guy who played fair, followed the rules, abided by his code and morals.
Abraham, on the other hand, didn’t know the meaning of fair, abhorred rules and everything they stood for, and his code was that of the streets. His morals were nonexistent. There’d be a blade shived into Braun’s kidneys before he knew what hit him.
“They don’t matter. What’s done is done, it can’t be changed and I’m afraid,” so fucking afraid, “I can’t either. I’m too much trouble, Braun. The hell of my life will leech into yours if you keep trying to take me under your wing. I can’t risk that.”
He grunted. “I’m old enough and stupid enough to make my own decisions on what’s too much trouble, Bodie. And I’m not taking you under my wing—Connie's the mother hen if you recall. You’ve been in the club often enough now to see the dynamics at work, you know they’re not all exactly alike. Whatever you feel comfortable with is all I’m asking, little one. I’m begging you to give this a shot, to see if we can make something between us that lasts.”
She sighed. If he was prepared to dismiss the danger she posed, how did she make him listen? Oh, she was aware she was using her parents as a last ditch attempt to deter him from pursuing this, even though she was going to fold and give him what he thought he wanted, but until he understood what kind of family she came from, he couldn’t make an informed decision.
“Do you really want to be with someone whose family would blackmail you down to your last cent if they got wind of this place? Because that’s the kind of people I come from, Braun. They’ve done it to me more than once. I can’t even buy new furniture for my apartment because the next time they drop in for their dues, they’ll wonder where I got the money, then...” She trailed off, dreading the day that happened.
“Then what?”
It wasn’t worth imagining. Her father would smash the apartment up and knife her couch, her mattress, before pissing on everything she’d worked for like some territorial stray dog. Her mother would tear the rooms apart on the hunt for cash and valuables, leaving a swath of destruction in her wake. And once the search was complete and they had everything they wanted from her, that was when Abraham would do his duty and batter her as a warning not to skimp on what was theirs.
“Communication, little one. We fucked up with that last time, I won’t allow it to happen again. Your parents don’t worry me. They sure as hell shouldn’t worry you either; I have no issues beating the pair of them senseless. The other Masters would jump at the chance to assist me.”
Bodie welled up again at the unified front Braun presented. If he asked it of them, the Masters would help him do whatever he needed. They might rib each other mercilessly and have their disagreements, but they banded together like brothers in arms.
“Jasper would be the first,” Braun added nonchalantly. “He despises abuse of any kind. Been known to coldcock Doms who’ve stepped over the line between consensual and assholery.”