Page 35 of Dance for Me
She jerked, shocked. “But...but he’s a sadist.”
“Pain’s arousing to a lot of people, Bodie. Some can only handle a light paddling; others need a darker kind of pain to reach their pinnacle. Jasper’s the kind of guy masochists flock to in droves because they know he’ll give them exactly what they need to fly, then catch them when they lose momentum.”
That actually sounded kinda...appealing. “Fly how?”
Braun chuckled. “Well, orgasms are pretty popular. Subspace is achievable if the sub’s in the right headspace. Some find it harder to reach than others, but with patience and trust, flying isn’t an insurmountable task.” His lips touched her forehead; she closed her eyes and absorbed the warmth. “Considering we’re discussing this as adults, does this mean you’re not against the idea of...”
Snuggled up on his chest, it didn’t seem to be the worst idea. The rest of what it entailed...maybe she’d think again when they got to it, but after the month she’d had, saying yes to Braun wasn’t as difficult as she first thought. “I still don’t think I’m submissive...” she began, then giggled when he flicked her earlobe. “But everyone else thinks that I am, so...”
“I’m liking where the ‘so’ is leading.”
Bodie flattened her hand over his chest. “I’ll try. I’m not going to promise I can do it because I’ve never done anything remotely close to what you’re asking. Trying is all I’ve got to give.”
“Then that’s all I want from you. Your best shot, Bodie.” His big body relaxed as though her answer sucked all the underlying tension out of him. “I meant what I said about communication. You need to talk to me, little one, when things overwhelm you, instead of shutting me out and taking off. Understand me?”
“Yes. Yes, Sir,” she amended, rolling the honorific on her tongue for size. The honorific was particularly important, she recalled from her research. Respect and obedience were two essential components of this journey.
She just needed to remind her tongue before it got her into trouble.
“God, I love the way that sounds in your voice,” Braun murmured. “Good girl. Just remember we can take this slow, Bodie. I’m not striving for perfection right out of the gate; I want you enjoy what we do together, and I’m hoping you’ll love learning as much as I love teaching.”
It amazed her how he knew just what to say to shear the rough edges off her anxieties. She realized she’d essentially just signed herself over into his care—score one for research—and that in his world, he could do pretty much anything he wanted to her now as long as she consented.
Part of her waited for him to change, to shift into big, bad Dom mode and take charge straight off the bat, but he was still the same laid-back, chilled out man she’d begun to trust. His hand still caressed her nape, his attitude hadn’t leaped from calm to domineering, and best of all, his voice still held all the warmth she was coming to depend on for inner peace.
“While we’re here, we may as well address the kiss,” Braun decided. “If it triggered you, I need to know. Doesn’t mean I won’t do it again, because there’s not much going to come between me and that mouth of yours, but I can take precautions so we don’t have a repeat of last time.”
Oh boy, she was dreading this conversation. Explaining her reaction meant divulging secrets not even Liam knew—that was going to piss him off—and she just wasn’t ready to lay her whole fucked up life on the table. She doubted he was going to like ninety percent of her history, and she would never forgive herself if he decided to take the Masters and go on a revenge mission on her behalf.
Her parents were possibly the most psychotic duo in current times.
She wriggled, wanting to sit up so she wasn’t in such an exposed position, but Braun kept her down effortlessly. “Just relax, little one. We’re going to use tonight to get you comfortable with me again. We made some headway when we last in here; we need to get back to that. Submission doesn’t have to leave you feeling vulnerable, Bodie. It can empower you if you let it.”
Do as he says, Bodie. This is part of it, remember? Trusting him to make the tough calls without hurting you. He’s experienced, he’s a nice guy, and Liam sees him as a good boss and a better friend. Just go with the flow.
“I...the kiss was amazing.” It wasn’t a lie. “I just don’t like it when I...”
“It’s okay, you can tell me. My job is to listen, little one. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and just let the words come. No judgement, I promise.”
Her fingers curled into his shirt, held on. She could do this. No matter how embarrassing it was, she could tell him this one thing without dying from mortification. Eyes squeezed shut, she jolted when his hand covered hers and stroked her knuckles. “I don’t like it when I get wet,” she blurted nervously, braced for his laughter. “It freaks me out, and every time I’m near you it happens, and I hate it.”
“Hmmm, I can see how that would be a problem. Do you touch yourself when you’re aroused? Play with yourself, make yourself come?”
Bodie's eyes popped open and she stared at him with something akin to horror. “What? Why the hell would I do that?”
“That’s a resounding no. Something for us to work on. Quite frankly, I’d be more concerned if you didn’t get wet at all. A dry pussy is no fun for either party—at least we know you respond to stimulus.” Braun’s brow furrowed in thought. “Have you ever orgasmed, Bodie? With a lover?”
This is going to come back and bite me on the ass, she thought miserably. They were skating on the edge of darker, deeper secrets and she had the most atrocious balance. “Umm...no?”
“You’ve never had an orgasm,” he muttered. “We’ll have to rectify that sooner than later, won’t we? Anyway, we’ve ascertained you don’t like being aroused but we’ll get you through that. Can you tell me what, aside from kissing, turns you on?”
You, breathing. You, speaking. You, period.
Damn you.
“Your voice. When you pick me up. That thing you do with your hand on the back of my neck.” She felt heat rising into her cheeks and ducked her face into his shirt.
“Honest answers, clever girl,” he purred.