Page 2 of Finding a Melody

We went on and on about my injury, and I tried my best to keep breathing as the hope was slowly snuffed out of me. Was there going to be an end to this? I didn’t want to have to live with pain management for the rest of my life. It scared the shit out of me. Made me question myself, made me wonder.

“Cadence?”

I blinked out of my dark thoughts and forced a smile. “Thank you.”

Dr. Hadaway frowned as she looked at me. Did I get too lost in my thoughts and miss a question? “Would you reconsider talking with a psychologist? We have a great psychology department. With an injury like this, your mental health is going to be affected.”

“I don’t want to,” I whispered.

“You went through a devastating trauma, and you’re still dealing with that trauma now as your body heals. Talking with someone will help. I know you had sessions with someone while you stayed here over the summer. Maybe you should consider picking those back up.”

I forced myself to look her directly in the eyes as I fisted my hands at my side. “I do not want to talk with anyone. He helped enough then.”

Her jaw tightened before she nodded. I had a feeling if she could get away with it, she’d lock me in a room with a therapist. “Very well. I’ll call once I have an appointment set up. Please continue going to physical therapy every two weeks. If anything changes, like jumping out of a house in the middle of the night, call me and come in. That could have been very dangerous for your injury.”

“It’s better than being dead,” I said.

She grimaced before sighing and leaving. I got down from the patient bed and grabbed my stuff before slipping out of the room and heading out of the hospital. It had always felt like a useless place to me. They hadn’t been much help even before the summer, and with my injury not healing, they still didn’t feel all that much helpful.

I texted Seth, letting him know I was on my way to the game, still ignoring his question. Once I was in the car, I didn’t dawdle and took off, more than happy to see the hospital disappear in my rearview mirror. I wasn’t going to miss Paxon’s soccer game. It’d be the first one I was attending. Ever. And I wanted him to know I was a supportive friend. I didn’t want any of them thinking I didn’t care about them.

His game was about forty minutes away. I was pushing it already thanks to my appointment, but I was determined to make it there on time. After squeezing my maroon Impala between a soccer mom van and a truck, I jogged toward the pitch, where people were already cheering as players ran across the field.

Damn it, it already started. I shoved money at the lady at the gate and grabbed my ticket before pushing through the crowd of people. My skin buzzed with so many strangers nearby, making me uncomfortable. I glanced at the scoreboard, noting that it had only been a couple minutes and no one scored yet. My phone went off with one of my favorite classical piano pieces. It was the ringtone I had set for all the guys. I answered it.

“We’re on the third bleacher, at the top,” Seth said into the phone.

“Almost there,” I said.

They were easy to spot, and just seeing them tempted me to turn around and go back home. I was feeling extreme secondhand embarrassment for Paxon. Toby was at the top, holding a big, gaudy, pink board, waving it as he jumped and cheered the loudest. I could hear him over the crowd as I made my way up. His sign was easy to spot, the big bold words saying, ‘Use your head more like you do in school,’ with a big number next to it in our school colors of yellow and gray. And glitter. Lots of glitter.

Cal was next to him, holding a smaller posterboard, but he was only holding it up, not moving. Seth sat in front of them with Bryan and Justin.

I took a moment and paused, staring at the group. Thirteen days. That was how long I’d known them for. Thirteen. No time at all, and yet somehow, it felt like forever. My body hummed with excitement at being close to them. They were all so different and yet fit with each other so perfectly. And I was a part of that now. A real friendship; something I’d never had before.

Unable to stop, I smiled, forgetting about my doctor’s appointment or the lack of news, and went the rest of the way up. They noticed me when I was only a couple levels down.

“Candy Cane!” Toby waved his board as if he needed it to get my attention. If there was only one word to describe Toby, it’d be bright. He loved flashing his white teeth as he smiled big constantly, his hazel eyes seeming to hold a perpetual laugh in them. There was so much energy in him that I wondered if he even knew how to sleep. “Here. Sit with us.”

“I like your hair,” I said as I reached them, sitting next to Toby. His light brown hair was spiked up like usual, but the tips were yellow. Like bright yellow. I wasn’t even sure how he got it so yellow.

He laughed. “It’ll come out in my shower tonight. Auntie would kill me if I really dyed my hair. So? What do you think?” He shoved the board in my face.

I leaned back, laughing. “Is this your way of embarrassing Paxon?”

“He needs to know that we are here for him and we love him,” Toby said in a serious voice, but a massive grin stretched across his face as he lifted the board back up and went back to waving it around like a madman.

“He can definitely feel it all the way out on the field.” I glanced out, taking in faces, trying to spot him. “Where is he?”

“He’s ten. Attacking midfielder, so he’s in the middle,” Seth said, turning to face me, his honey-brown eyes seeming to laugh. Seth was supportive enough to paint Paxon’s number on his black skin in bright yellow paint. The number was drawn neatly on both his cheeks. He also wore a gray T-shirt that read, ‘Yay! Soccer. Do that with the ball, get all the points & stuff.’ It was so perfectly a Seth shirt, even if it was maybe one size too small, stretching over his wide chest. Not that I was complaining.

I snorted. “I really hope you guys realize that means nothing to me. I just want to watch him run back and forth on the field.”

That got them laughing as I tried to find Paxon. It took a little bit, but then I was able to spot his blond hair as he looked down at the ball on the ground. And just like Seth said, he was standing in the middle of the field, battling it out with another player for the ball. It looked rather aggressive. Then he was able to get the ball away, bringing it further down the field with powerful strides, before passing it on to someone who kicked it into the goal, scoring the first point for the game.

Everyone around me went crazy, cheering, feet thundering onto the quaking bleachers. Even the guys were on their feet and cheering as loud as everyone else. Paxon was high-fiving the guy who had made the goal, both players grinning from ear to ear, and then they were back to running around again.

“You almost didn’t make it. Everything okay?” Bryan said, turning enough to see me. His glasses slipped down his face, and he quickly pushed them back up, still staring at me with inquisitive brown eyes as he waited for my response. The wind rustled his black hair. Bryan reminded me of those nice, boy next door types, except Bryan was probably the prickliest of them all. He didn’t tolerate anyone who wasn’t in his circle of friends. I was one of the lucky ones able to get past that, and only recently. Sometimes, it felt like we were still on rocky footing. The first time we met didn’t go over well, and I had almost written them all off because of him.