Page 3 of Finding a Melody

They were lucky Toby and Paxon were tenacious, otherwise, I’d probably be going about my life never really realizing how great they truly were.

“Yeah, just had some errands before coming,” I said offhandedly, slowly answering his question.

I hadn’t told them about the doctor’s appointment, instead, just saying I had something to do before I could meet up with them at the game. They seemed to accept it, but Bryan’s curiosity was strong as he stared at me. I gave him a weak smile and then pretended to be pulled into what was happening on the field.

Justin stood up and stretched, his long-sleeved shirt rising enough to give me a glimpse of his abs, honed into perfection by all the swimming he did. “I’m getting a drink. Anyone want anything?”

The others called out their orders that varied from drinks to food. Justin stared at me in that way that always made me feel like he saw more. Which he did. He saw and understood more about me than anyone else in this world. It scared me, frankly. He was the only person I truly opened up to. I hadn’t even told my old childhood friend about what happened over the summer. It wasn’t like he could do anything from the other side of the country, and the few text messages we did share didn’t really leave room to talk about something like that.

But Justin knew. He had his own demons to deal with from his past, but he understood what I was going through. We were survivors, both moving ahead in our lives after the fact. Mine was just more recent than his. Abuse had a way of staining our souls and only those with the same stain recognized the true damage of it.

“Cadence?” he finally asked. “Want anything?”

“Can I come?” I asked.

“Of course.” He smiled as he held out his hand and helped me to my feet. He kept holding my hand as he helped me down, not that I was the type to be clumsy enough to trip on bleachers. It was still gentle of him to make sure.

We walked along the chain fence that separated the field from the track that wrapped around it and the stands. Most people were on the bleachers to make sure they could see, so it was a bit easier to move around people as we made our way to the other side where the concession stand was.

“Are you okay?” Justin asked as we joined the line.

“Hm? Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged, not looking at me. He kept his voice low as he said, “Something seems off.”

I squeezed his hand. Damn him for being so observant. I bit at my lip before finally deciding to tell him. He already knew the dirty details of my past.

“Doctor’s appointment,” I said, my nose burning as my throat struggled to keep working.

It was like something was gripping my voice box, making my words thicker. I thought I was fine, the news was expected. But now I was beginning to realize I wasn’t at all. Not even close. Not if it was so hard to tell someone about the appointment. A simple, routine appointment. Why was it so hard to talk about it?

I cleared my throat, yet my words were still coarse as I said, “No change. Still needs time.”

Justin didn’t reply right away, but he was frowning as he thought hard about what to say. He only spoke again after we shuffled forward in line. “It was weird when it was over for me. Sure, I had to spend some weeks in the hospital, but after that, the physical pain was gone. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I had to deal with an injury like yours. Especially alone.” He squeezed my hand hard to make sure he had my attention. He definitely had it. I could practically feel him picking his words carefully, giving each one a thought before he said them. The sincerity in him was the most I felt from anyone, more than from my doctors or from Amy. More than from the judges and nurses and therapists and people in general.

My heart clenched.

“And because I feel like I need you to believe me and understand me when I tell you that you aren’t alone. You need help, I’m there. Any of us are. You need to tell us though. We aren’t mind readers.”

I raised an eyebrow, trying to get humor back into the conversation. “Are you sure?” My words were too thick, though, almost choking as I said them, making it impossible for the humor to come across.

“With you, I wish I was. Let’s get the others food before they try to eat each other.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” I whispered as we moved further up the line.

“They would. Last time we didn’t feed Toby, Bryan ended with bite marks on his arm. Why do you think he isn’t sitting next to him?”

“So Calv is the sacrifice?”

“Toby won’t bite him. He’s the safest of us all.”

“What about me? I’m sitting next to him.”

Justin tilted his head to the side as he thought about that. “You probably shouldn’t. You’re probably in more danger than anyone else.”

That got me laughing. “I’m moving.”

“He’ll be sad.”