Page 3 of Pleading Innocence

“A recommendation letter,” she said.

My brain jerked a little bit, and I unclasped my hands to stroke my tie. “For what?” I asked.

“A new job,” she answered, crossing her arm across her chest and looking away from me in impatience.

My heart crashed to my stomach. “You’re leaving?” I asked. My voice had a bit of a squeak to it that came out of nowhere, and I hated it.

She turned around to look at me then, studying me for a moment, and I thought I saw hope there for a minute. She was silent for a bit before her eyes flickered away from mine again. “Yes,” she said.

No!That’s what I wanted my response to be in return, but that was far too possessive. She’d be furious at me for that. It took me a while to think about what it would mean if she left. If she left, then I’d never see her again.

Oh, that was far too dramatic. I was best friends with her brother, for fuck’s sake.

But what would that mean? Only seeing her if there was a family event? Things wouldn’t be the same again. If she left, she’d forget about me. She’d move on. And I wouldn’t forget about her. Because I lied. Tiffany Levine wasn’t nobody to me. She wasn’t ‘not special.’

I still wanted her. Having her around made it certain that the passion would still sizzle between us, even if it was too hot for me to touch. It was nice having her around, and not just for eye candy. My reasoning was selfish, I knew it was, but I couldn’t let her leave. Even if she could never know how I felt.

“And why would you need to do that?” I asked, pulling my eyes from hers so she couldn’t see my truth.

She grimaced when she looked at me as if she was perturbed by my questioning. “I just do, okay?” she said.

“Do you have another job offer?” I asked.

She looked away from me and laughed hollowly in disbelief. “I don’t think it’s any of your business whether or not I do, Mr. Crawford,” she said.

A heavy sigh escaped me. I wanted to yell and tell her to stay, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I didn’t have the balls.

And I certainly could not yell it in my office where others were bound to hear. Plus, admitting my feelings to her would mean betraying my best friend. There was more than just hope in her eyes. I knew from the way we looked at each other, the way both our eyes lingered, that the desire to revisit each other’s bodies was not one-sided. If I admitted that I wanted her, that would be it. The unspoken promise to my best friend would be broken. The promise to not go behind his back and get involved with his younger sister who had the rest of her adult life ahead of her.

“Well, I’m sorry, Ms. Levine,” I returned. “I’m afraid I can’t let you go on such short notice. Besides, what good would a recommendation do if you’ve only been working here for one month? No law firm is going to take you seriously,” I said.

She narrowed her brows at me. “Why don’t you let me deal with that?” she challenged me.

“Tiffany,” I hissed, and at the sound of me calling her by her first name, she froze. We had only been addressing each other by our surnames for the past month and that was via different sources. After refusing her advances in my office and firing her only a few hours after we fucked, this was the first time we were speaking. Professionally, anything I needed her to get done would go through the channels of Melissa, Anthony, or Mario. I hadn’t had direct conversation with her for an entire month.

Our eyes focused on each other, and I could hear the beat of my pulse pounding in my eardrums. My desire for her was deafening. I saw the slight movement of her chest beneath her blouse and her cheeks flushed with blood. Her lips parted as if she were waiting on something. Damn it. I wanted to taste those lips again. Fuck.

I cleared my throat once more because my voice felt like it had run away from me. “Why don’t you come back to me in six months and I’ll write you a recommendation? You’ll stand a better chance then,” I said, as I watched the color leave her face and disappointment swirl around in her eyes.

“Mr. Crawford, with all due respect, I don’t think I can grow into the lawyer I’m meant to be here. The environment…” She paused, looking at me for a minute before pulling her eyes away from mine. “Causes me great distress,” she continued. “It would be in my best interest to leave. And I’d like to remind you that you owe me a favor,” she said. “This is what I’m asking for in return.”

“Owe you?” I asked.

“Yes.” She glared at me.

“I already repaid that favor, I think,” I responded, narrowing my own brows at her.

“With a job that causes me distress?” she said with irritation, before closing her eyes and sighing, collecting herself. “What I meant to say, Mr. Crawford, is while I appreciate the gesture, I do not want this job and I’d like to leave. In return for how I helped you, I’m asking you to write me a glowing letter of recommendation. And please don’t hold back on singing my praises. I’m sure you can find something good to write about me.” She tapped her feet upon the carpet.

Okay, she was mad at me, and I got it. I knew what was causing her ‘distress’ and I wished I could relieve it, but I couldn’t. This was ridiculous. The way we were addressing each other was frustrating. I wanted to grovel at her feet, but I was a man of dignity, so I wouldn’t do that.

“Have you thought about this?” I asked her.

“It’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about these past few weeks,” she said.

I wasn’t ready to let her go, but she couldn’t stay just so that I could have the pleasure of looking at her. By the look in her eyes, I could see she wasn’t playing games. She wasn’t really a game player. I understood now that when she knew she wanted something, she went for it. And I was sorry I hadn’t understood that earlier. One of the hardest things in the world is letting go of someone when you’re not ready to, but there probably wasn’t a better time to do it than now. All there was between us was lust and temptation. It was just the desire to have what I was not allowed to that was intriguing.