Page 12 of I Could Never

Josh: No, but I thought it was funny.

Carly: How nice that you amuse yourself. And just for that, you’re getting pumpkin.

Reluctantly, I tossed a container of plain, dark-roast pods into the cart.

Josh: Hey, you know where you should go to get coffee?

Carly: Where?

Josh: The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. They have GREAT coffee. Brad took me there when I went out to visit him.

I scratched my head.

Carly: They don’t have those here. They’re only in California.

Josh: Exactly.

Carly: Now you’re getting pumpkin spice with a shot of pumpkin, wiseass.

Josh: Whatever, Pumpkin.

Carly: Also, most of what I buy for the house will be gluten free.

Josh: Great.

Carly: Are you being sarcastic?

Josh: No, I mean things here were so much fun as it was. Gluten free only makes it better.

Carly: Gluten-free pumpkin loaf for you. ;-)

As I continued going up and down the aisles, Josh sent me another text.

Josh: Actually, I forgot to pack deodorant. Do you mind picking some up? I’ll reimburse you, of course.

Carly: Any particular kind?

Josh: Anything that’s made for a man.

Carly: Extra-spicy manwhore scent?

Josh: That works for me.

Carly: Nontoxic or…

Josh: Are you being serious?

Carly: Yes!

Josh: Toxic. I need it to actually work.

Carly: I use lemons instead of deodorant myself.

Josh: Are you shitting me?

Carly: No. I rub a wedge onto each pit daily.

Josh: That explains why you smell.