Page 17 of I Could Never
As I loaded the dishwasher, I was again surprised by him.
“Have you dated anyone since…you know?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I know it’s been two years, but I haven’t felt ready.”
He wiped the counter. “I think he’d want you to move on.”
“I know he would. But it has to feel right, and it just hasn’t yet. Maybe once I get through this…sabbatical here.”
He nodded. “Speaking of which, we should probably get on with the process of putting Scottie on a waiting list for a home. I don’t think either one of us wants to be here in Woodsboro any longer than we have to. The therapist, Lauren, gave me her number and said she’d help set up a meeting with the agency she works for, if we want.”
“Interesting how she gave youhernumber and not the direct line for the agency.”
He smirked. “Yeah. I didn’t miss that, either.”
I didn’t know if it was all the talk about Brad, or the fact that I was feeling oddly guilty about enjoying being around Josh tonight, but I suddenly needed some space.
“Why don’t you do what you need to do tonight?” I told him. “I got this cleanup.”
“I should help with the dishes,” he insisted.
“There’s not much left. You had a long day at work and then helped me cook.”
He raised a brow. “You sure?”
“Yup.”
He slapped the dishtowel against the counter. “I’d actually love to take a shower so I don’t have to do it in the morning.”
“Go for it.”
Josh washed his hands before heading over to his suitcase in the corner of the living room. He took out some clothes and carried them to the bathroom.
Left alone in the kitchen, a wave of emotion hit me. Josh had given me a little peek into his softer side tonight. Talking about Brad had really brought it out. Interesting, but no surprise. Brad always brought out the best in people; he certainly always brought out the best in me. He made me feel cherished after every other male who’d come and gone in my life had let me down. I really missed him tonight.
A few minutes later, I was putting detergent into the dishwasher when I heard what sounded like Josh yelling from down the hall.
“No! Let go of my dick!”
I shut the dishwasher door and rushed over to see what was going on. The bathroom door was open. Through the frosted glass of the shower, I could see the silhouettes oftwonaked bodies. Scottie’s clothes were on the floor next to Josh’s.
“Why did he go in there?” I cried, stifling my laughter.
“Fuck if I know! Weren’t you watching him?”
“He was quiet in his room. I thought things were under control while I was finishing up the dishes.”
“One second I had my eyes closed, rubbing shampoo into my hair. The next thing I knew, the door slid open and he was standing in front of me, yanking on my crank.”
I cracked up harder, unable to hide it now.
“When you’re done laughing, do you mind taking him out of here and drying him off? I’m naked, so I can’t exactly leave right now.” He slid the door open just enough to let Scottie out. “Go on, Scottie.”
“Come on, Scottie. Leave Uncle Josh alone,” I said, trying not to stare at Josh’s body through the glass. “We’ll give you a bath after.”
Finally able to get him out, I dried Scottie off and led him back into his bedroom to get dressed.Maybe he prefers showers?
When Josh finally came back out into the living room, he wore a black T-shirt and gray sweatpants that were a bit tapered at the bottom. He smelled amazing, like soap and cologne. I tried not to admire how attractive he was, the way the shirt hugged his chest, the way his wet hair fell over his forehead. His big feet. The bulge straining through those fitted pants. Noticing such things had happened more times than I wanted to admit, and I hated myself for it. I chalked it up to the fact that I was a lonely, dried-up person right now who hadn’t had sex in more than two years and couldn’t help what my body reacted to.