Page 30 of I Could Never
“Have you said anything to him?”
“Neither of us has mentioned it again. I’ve just pretended like it didn’t happen, pretended to let it roll off of me. I made small talk with him the next morning. And the past few days have been business as usual.”
“Well, then it’s already blown over.”
“Forhim, maybe. Not for me. I still feel dumb for staring at him like that, and even dumber for letting my guard down long enough to get caught.”
“You’re only human.” She paused. “You need to get out of that house. Have you made any friends there you could go out with?”
“Well, I did makeup this morning for a wedding and got to talking to one of the bridesmaids—Lisa. She says we should go out for a drink or dinner some night. She’s also new in town. So I think I’m gonna take her up on it.”
“Perfect. Make that sooner rather than later, please.” She sighed. “For the record, I don’t blame you for ogling Josh. I can only imagine what a sight he was all sweaty.”
“You’re not helping.”
“The man just looks like he knows how to fuck, doesn’t he?”
“Goodbye, Christina!” I hung up.
But yeah, he does.
***
I thought I’d reached the peak of embarrassment the other night, but I was wrong.
Josh sat at the table, casually having coffee as I walked into the house after my drive home from the salon. The smell of cigarettes emanated from him. He hadn’t smelled like that since the first day he arrived.
“Where’s Scottie?” I asked.
“In his room,” he answered without making eye contact.
I stated the obvious. “You smell like smoke.”
“Must be the firewood.” He brought his mug to his mouth.
“Bullshit. The pellet stove doesn’t emit any fumes.”
“Yeah. I caved and had one. Big deal.” He pointed toward the door. “I did it outside, though, while keeping an eye on Scottie through the window.”
“You’d been doing so well. What happened?”
He still wasn’t looking at me, and instead stared straight ahead. “Just human, I guess.”
Then something in front of him on the table caught my attention: pieces of ripped pages piled atop…my journal.
A rush of adrenaline shot through me. “Why do you have that?”
“It’s apparently your diary.”
“I’m quite aware of that.” My heart began to pound. “You were snooping in my room?”
He shot daggers at me. “Think, Carly. Of the two guys in this house, who is the one more likely to have been ransacking your room?”
“You were supposed to be watching him while I was at the salon,” I yelled.
“God forbid I take a piss in peace. Is it not bad enough that I’m showering with him now? Getting my balls tugged?”
I wanted to laugh, but this moment was far from funny.