Page 55 of I Could Never
I threw my purse onto an end table. “How did tonight go?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
Taking off my coat, I said, “Tell me how Scottie was first.”
“Well, we had a blast. He’s already out like a light, but not before ripping a hole in my air mattress.”
Looking over at the corner of the room, I noticed the lifeless rubber laying on the floor. “Oh no! How did that happen?”
“Fuck if I know. That’s what I get for trying to be efficient. I blew it up early, then left the room and came back to it all deflated. Never found the weapon.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.” I covered my mouth. “I shouldn’t laugh, but it’s kind of funny.”
Josh shrugged. “It’s no biggie. I’ll try to patch it tomorrow or just get a new one. It was my fault for blowing it up before he went to sleep. That’s like asking for trouble.” He sighed. “Did you have a nice time?”
“It was very nice. And you were so right about your brother. He’s a sweetheart.” I pursed my lips, unsure how much I wanted to divulge. I didn’t want anything getting back to Neil. But I also wasn’t in the mood to sugarcoat anything.
Apparently, Josh could see it on my face, though. “You look like there’s abutin there somewhere,” he said.
“Like I said, we had a very nice time.” I hesitated. “I don’t know if it was a lack of physical chemistry or whether I’m just not ready, but—”
He held his palms out. “You don’t need to explain.”
“I know I don’tneedto explain,” I said. “But I want to. I’m sure he’s going to say something to you.”
“You can trust that I won’t tell him anything you don’t want me to.”
“Your brother is a true catch. Our conversation was honest and engaging. He’s family-oriented and everything a woman could want, as near as I can tell. There was not one single thing wrong with our date. But yet...it still felt like something was missing. Sometimes you can’t put your finger on it.”
Josh nodded. “I hear you.”
His short response made me wonder if he was holding back.
“Do you think I’m being too picky?”
“No, and you shouldn’t care what I think, either. You have to follow your heart. Neil’s a big boy. I’m sure he could sense it if you weren’t totally feeling it.”
“All I could think during dinner was that this man was going to make someone very happy someday.”
“It’s just not gonna be you…”
I stared down at my nails. “I don’t think so, no.”
“How did you leave things with him?”
“He asked if I would be interested in going out again, and I told him I didn’t want to lead him on and I didn’t feel ready for anything more. I apologized for wasting his time tonight, and he was so gracious about it.” I shook my head. “Maybe I’m just broken, Josh. Because there is not one single thing wrong with your brother. I just—”
“You can’t choose who you’re attracted to or who you have chemistry with. That’s the bottom line, Carly.”
“I know. I just feel crummy for wasting his time.”
Josh snapped his fingers. “I have a solution for that.”
“Oh yeah?”
“It’s green with nuts—and colder than your attitude toward my brother tonight.”
“Josh!” I kicked the air, pretending it was him.