Page 62 of Run Like the Devil
His voice caught me in a web, as if he were trying to understand his own feelings. How could someone who read others so easily, who predicted everyone else’s motives and actions to the point of seeming to be able to see the future, be so unaware when it came to his own feelings?
“Were you jealous?”
He shook his head. “No. I didn’t fault you or them, I just… I think I wanted to be there as well. I didn’t think I belonged there, didn’t see how I ever could be, but I still wanted it.”
A smile tugged at my lips, but I fought it, not wanting him to think I was mocking him. I doubted he’d love it if I said I found that unerringly cute—guys tended to find that sort of description emasculating.
He narrowed his eyes, but it lacked the anger and distance from earlier, when I’d thrown the rock at him. That said we’d made progress, right?
“You know, there’s no point in hiding your smile if you make it so obvious. If anything, that’s more insulting.”
I gave into the smile—what was the point in trying to resist it anymore? “Well, maybe next time you’ll join in.” I turned to walk away, feeling as if I’d taken control of our interaction, as if I’d gained the high ground with him and would leave him off balance.
“Maybe I will,” he said.
And there went my high ground. Yazmor managed to throw me off with those three words, my brain immediately running wild with a filthy fantasy, one where I got to touch Yazmor all I wanted, where we both gave into something we wanted. My foot caught a small rock buried in the Path and I pitched forward, barely catching myself before I crashed into the ground.
A familiar chuckle echoed behind me, and the burning of my cheeks was my only companion as I walked faster to try to avoid having Yazmor see just how much he affected me.
It just wasn’t fair for him to turn me into some blushing virgin when I was pretty sure I had way more experience than him.
Yazmor really was more dangerous than he looked—in all ways.
* * * *
“Truth.”
“Tell me about the first time you got super drunk.”
Gorrin sighed as if he found me—and my games—beyond tedious. “You remind me of a child in the backseat on a road trip when all the adults want is a little bit of quiet.”
“That doesn’t sound like the first time you got super drunk.” I offered him a smirk that I’d bet came across as less adorable and more annoying than I was going for. “Come on, you agreed to play!”
“I agreed to play because your last game was eye-spy, and given everything out here is some shade of gray, I grew tired of that.”
“Look, if anyone understands how deals work, it’s you. You agreed to play truth or dare so long as I stopped with eye-spy. I did my part, now you fulfill your part.”
He rubbed at the bridge of his nose, and I wondered if I were closer, if I could have seen his temple throbbing. It felt like it had been far too long since I’d last annoyed him so much, and seeing it now really made me realize that he was back.
And how fucked-up was I that bickering like this, that seeing him that annoyed with me made me this happy?
“I was still in the Plains,” Gorrin offered. “I drank a wine they make there for the first time and hadn’t understood just how hard it would hit me. Being an angel, liquor made for humans had never done much to me, but this wine is made specifically for angels, so it takes far less of it to intoxicate me.”
“And what happened? Did you flash people? Start a fight? Steal a badger from the zoo?”
He narrowed his eyes as he stared at me. “That last one seems a bit too specific to be a random example.”
“I admit to nothing, but his name was Sir Snarlyface and he was the best roommate a person could ask for. If you think a dog will scare intruders off, wait to see what a badger does. Besides, the zoo clearly didn’t take good care of him if a random drunken eighteen-year-old could sneak in and steal him.”
Gorrin said nothing for a while before letting out a soft laugh. “Sir Snarlyface aside, I blacked out that time. I’m not sure exactly what I did, but I woke the next day with the crystal that sits atop the palace tower clutched in my hand. Also, a few other angels snickered behind my back for a few weeks afterward, but I never dared to ask what exactly I’d done.”
I tried to picture Gorrin like that, reckless and free and young. It was so different from that man I knew that it made no sense, like looking at the blue sky and someone telling me it was orange. “Well, that’s a pretty good story. Did you put the crystal back?”
He shook his head. “I have no idea how I even got up there to get it. Wings don’t work for flying, and there is no path up. Besides, Hubis was not thrilled when he discovered it missing, so instead, I hid the crystal in my room.”
A strange sadness colored his features. “Before I left the Plains, before I went to the Chasm, I would sometimes take that crystal out and just stare at it, as if it had some meaning I’d yet to figure out. It wasn’t a large crystal, just small and with a blue tint. Hubis never spoke about it, never explained why it was up there, but it would catch light and reflect down, visible even from ground level. I think, looking back, it was the first time I truly opposed him, when I did something outside of what he wanted me to do, when I didn’t just blindly obey him. So I kept it. It is still there, hidden in my room, even after all this time.”
I thought about how far Gorrin had come, how much he had grown from the angel he’d once been, the one desperate for Hubis’ approval, to live up to what he thought he was supposed to be. I could almost picture him staring at that crystal, trying to understand why it meant anything to him, not fully realizing how badly he craved rebellion and freedom.