Page 36 of Outrun The Devil
He grinned, their banter dancing on the edge of flirtation. “Consider it a friendly competition, Collins. May the best detective win.”
While Nathan remained oblivious to Olivia's internal turmoil, she couldn't help but wonder if he held any fragments of insight or hidden knowledge. Their partnership had proven invaluable in the last couple of weeks, and a part of her yearned to confide in him, to share the weight of her burden. But the fear of compromising the investigation and potentially placing him in danger restrained her.
With a forced smile and a deflection, Olivia redirected the conversation onto safer ground, momentarily easing the tension that coiled within her. As their banter carried on, she found solace in the familiar rhythm of their exchanges, a temporary respite from the clandestine forces that lurked in the shadows.
Yet, deep down, Olivia knew that time was of the essence. She couldn't afford to ignore the presence that haunted her, the silent watcher who observed her every move. Determination etched itself onto her features as she made a silent promise to herself. She would uncover the identity of her mysterious observer, no matter the cost.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Nathan asked.
Olivia noticed a flicker of something in his eyes but she couldn’t put her finger on it.
“Sure.” She tried not to let anything show on her face.
“How do you do it? Being a cop and a mother?” He asked.
Olivia wasn’t expecting that and the look on her face must have said that too because he felt the need to clarify why he was asking.
“I’m raising my brother. Our parents passed away a few years back, and since he was under the age of eighteen, I took him in.” He paused, looking out the window toward the club. “It’s been hard, to say the least.”
A wave of guilt washed over Olivia. She’d never known that he lost his parents and ended up taking in his younger brother in their absence. They were thrust into parenthood without preparing for how hard it’d be.
“I won't sugarcoat it, Nathan,” she began, her voice filled with empathy. “Being a cop and a mother is a constant juggling act, and it's never easy. There are moments when you question if you're doing enough if you're giving them the love and support, they need.”
Nathan nodded, his gaze fixed on a distant memory. “That's exactly how I feel. The constant doubt, the fear of not measuring up.”
Olivia reached out and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “But here's the thing: no one is perfect at this. We all make mistakes, and we all struggle. The key is to be present, to show up for them, even when you feel like you're falling short.”
He sighed, a mixture of relief and frustration in his voice. “I just wish I could connect with him, truly understand what he's going through.”
“What did you guys bond over before your parents' death?” she asked, hoping to help in some way.
“We didn’t, that’s the problem. We’re twelve years apart and I rarely was around when he was younger because of that age difference.”
It was tough. “I am all for personal boundaries but it might be time to use those detective skills of yours to snoop his room and see if there’s something you can connect over.” She paused. “Or have a conversation with him. Giving sound advice’s hard for me since every child is different.”
Communication was always the best way to get through to Jessica whenever they found each other on different pages. But that didn’t mean it’d work for Nathan and his brother.
Nathan looked thoughtful, his brows furrowed with a mix of apprehension and determination. “I guess it's worth a shot. I just want him to know that I'm here for him, even if it takes time for us to find common ground.”
Olivia stared ahead, her gaze fixed on a distant point, her expression a reflection of the inner turmoil she grappled with. She contemplated the risks they were taking, the potential consequences of their actions, and the lives that hung in the balance. Doubts gnawed at her, threatening to erode her confidence.
“Why are you so against a partner?” Nathan Steele’s words cut through the comfortable silence that settled between them. Olivia's heart skipped a beat, and she felt a pang of vulnerability as Nathan's question pierced through the tranquility. She knew this moment would come when the walls she had carefully constructed around herself would be tested. It was only a matter of time before the past resurfaced, demanding answers she wasn't quite ready to give.
She turned to face him, meeting his gaze with a mix of apprehension and resolve. The memories of that day in the cabin, the pain, and loss that it held, were still fresh in her mind. But she also knew that Nathan deserved to understand, to know why she was so resistant to forming deep attachments and working closely with others.
“It's not that I'm against a partner,” she began, her voice carrying a hint of guardedness. “It's just... complicated.” Olivia paused, choosing her words carefully, her eyes searching his face for any sign of judgment or misunderstanding.
Olivia was hesitant to open up to the man who sat beside her, the man that was her partner presently. But a part of her felt he deserved to know why she loathed the idea of a partner, and what shaped her to feel that way.
Steeling herself, Olivia took a deep breath to delve into the depths of her past, knowing that opening would be both painful and necessary. She turned her gaze towards Nathan, his eyes filled with patience and understanding, giving her the strength to share her truth.
“It's complicated because it's...”
She paused for a moment, memories flooding back with intensity. “I've seen the best of intentions turn sour, trust shattered in an instant. I've witnessed betrayal and the consequences it brings, both in my personal and professional life. It's left me with a deep-seated fear of relying on a partner, of letting them in too close.”
The memory of Detective Markham, her last true partner, surged through Olivia's mind like a wave of bittersweet nostalgia. They had been an incredible team, perfectly synced in their investigative prowess and unspoken understanding. But fate had dealt them a cruel hand, tearing Markham away from her in a tragic incident that still haunted her to this day.
The pain in Olivia's gut tightened, the knot serving as a constant reminder of the loss she had endured. Markham's absence had left a void in her life, a void that she had struggled to fill ever since. She had been hesitant to form another partnership, afraid of experiencing the same heartache and devastation that had shattered her world.