Page 35 of Nineteen Eighty
Elizabeth was so proud of her husband. In just a week, he’d be starting his studies as a law student, and within two to three years, joining the esteemed firm his ancestors built. He’d never wanted anything else, and, for someone like Elizabeth who’d never had a grasp on what she wanted at all, this was both fascinating and inspiring.
But now she did know what she wanted, and twice over.
She wanted to be his wife, and now she was.
And she wanted to help her family.
She’d come to this conclusion while they were still in Paris, moving through those lazy final days with soft contemplation. She’d probably never know who Tristan really was. In any case, she had to trust him when he said they’d never meet again, because he seemed to know everything else about her future. But his words and impact would linger. She wondered at this, at the strange way time passed for a seer, living both in the world they were in and in anticipation of the world they knew to be coming.
Other than Connor grieving her eventual loss, Elizabeth had seen almost nothing else about her future. She’d seen neither happiness nor sorrow. So was it so hard to believe Tristan when he suggested that, before she died, she could live? And she knew now… knew the when. It wasn’t as long as she wanted, but it was, surprisingly, longer than she thought. It was enough to have a life, with experiences and memories. Joys and regrets.
You cannot change the future, Elizabeth Sullivan. You can embrace it. You can live.
But living involved purpose. Direction. She’d eventually become a mother, and while she didn’t know exactly when that would be, she could guess, based on what she knew of her time left, and that guess put her first child, Danielle, at another year or two, depending. And there were other ways to live, than wife and mother.
Colleen sat across from her, sipping her coffee with the wide eyes of someone who regularly exchanged sleep for action. Her oldest sister never stopped going, not ever. A wife, mother, Magistrate of the Deschanel Magi Collective, and, now a PhD student, she never did anything halfway. Never had. And while Elizabeth guessed Colleen was wrong in the end about half the time, she never stopped trying to do better. Elizabeth supposed that was the best any of them could do.
Anyway, she could’ve done so much worse as far as big sisters went. Colleen was the only one she’d ever told about the future she’d seen for herself. Elizabeth hadn’t foreseen this moment, where that information would become a function of her potential, but it only reinforced her belief in the fickle but finite existence of fate.
“I can’t wait to hear all about Paris,” Colleen said, smiling over her coffee cup. “That ring was his grandmother’s?”
Elizabeth held her hand out, wiggling. “I love the modest band. You know I’m not much of a girl for glitters.”
“You’re not,” Colleen agreed. “Connor asked us, you know.”
“For your permission. He told me.”
Colleen shook her head. “Yes, that, but it was more. He invited all of us to lunch and walked us through his plans. Very serious, he was. He asked for our opinions, and in some cases, help.” She settled her cup in the saucer. “The Cupid and Psyche thing was his idea, he just didn’t know how to make it happen. Augustus suggested the journalist pass, and, though Connor doesn’t know this, he also made a phone call… you know, the kind only our bother can make.”
Elizabeth grinned.
“Anyhow, Connor asked us about a ring for you. He intended to spend thousands on a diamond, because he wanted only the best for you, but it was Maureen who reminded him that a symbol of your bond would be more meaningful. And so he asked his brother, Thomas, if it would be okay if he took their grandmother’s ring, since it was willed to both of them, you know, and Thomas apparently said he’d be a bachelor for life, so go for it.”
Elizabeth flushed a deep pink, admiring again her simple gold band. Her siblings, they’d been right. No matter their differences, they were a family, and they were one, and they’d known exactly how to turn Connor’s vision into a perfect reality.
“I think we might go back next summer. When he’s on break.”
Colleen brightened. “I think that would be lovely. And easier before you have children, for sure.”
Two. Danielle and Tristan. “And your three? They liking New Orleans?”
“Amelia loves her Montessori. It was the same one Ana went to. She just started Monday, but she’s already acting like she’s the queen of the kingdom.”
“It’s a good one. I picked it out.”
“So I hear. Ben is getting himself into trouble all the time, breaking dishes when he tries to move them across the room. I can’t wait until it’s his turn in Montessori.” She shook her head, laughing. “Ashley is a sweet, quiet boy. He makes everything so easy.”
“He and Amelia could be twins.”
“I hear that a lot.”
“I suppose I’ll get to why I’m here,” Elizabeth said. Her heart raced in anticipation. She’d envisioned this with all possible outcomes, but only one seemed most plausible, and it wasn’t the one she wanted. Or needed. “I had a bit of an epiphany in Paris.”
Colleen folded her hands and leaned in, listening. “Oh?”
“I don’t know what I’ll do with my life. You know, job wise.” Elizabeth fidgeted. Her skin itched. The cool breeze suddenly felt clammy, invasive. “Maybe be a writer. Something I could do without being around too many people.”
“You were always a good writer. A creative one.”