Page 72 of Devoured By You
“You’re all heart.”
The entire time Mara helped me dress, I kept an eye out for signs of pity from Jill. There wasn’t a single one. I couldn’t love her more.
I’d never deserved her less.
A less self-centered man would do the kindest thing and let her go. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Having two burly guys carry me up the steps to the company jet was the single most humiliating experience of my entire life. That Jill was there to witness it only made it worse. By the time they had me settled in a plush leather seat, my mood was in the shitter. How could a single car journey and being carried from a car to a plane exhaust me? I hadn’t been this tired after running the Boston Marathon. Was this how it would be from now on? The smallest activity resulting in having to take a nap?
I couldn’t bear it.
“You okay?” Jill’s hand landed on my uninjured shoulder. “Can I get you anything?”
“A new leg?” I flashed a grin. Pain leached across Jill’s face, and she winced. “Too soon?”
“Maybe a little.”
She took the seat opposite while Mara wrapped a blood pressure cuff around my bicep and clipped a pulsometer to my forefinger. Satisfied that I’d passed the bar she’d set, she removed them, then retreated to a seat across the aisle. I closed my eyes, only vaguely aware of the taxi ride to the runway, and by the time the engines roared ready for takeoff, the undeniable pull of sleep dragged me under.
* * *
“We’re here.”
I forced my eyes open. Jill was standing over me, her beautiful face bathed in light. I blinked, yawned, and rubbed my eyes.
“Good. I’m ready to get home.”
Being carried down the airplane steps to the Escalade waiting at the bottom of the stairs was just as mortifying. The sooner I got a fake fucking leg and learned how to use it, the better. Unfortunately, I had to wait for the stump to heal before the doctors could fit even a temporary one.
Stump. What a vile word that was. Surely medics should be able to come up with an alternative. I might have to invent one just so I didn’t cringe every time it popped into my head.
How the fuck had this happened to me? What a clusterfuck of epic proportions. The media had mostly been supportive and kind. Some of the online comments were less so, but that was to be expected these days. Online trolls loved nothing more than to nail an already severely wounded man in the balls.
As the car sped through the gates and up to my sprawling Miami mansion, a sense of relief washed over me. Home at last. I couldn’t help but think, though, that this wasn’t Jill’s home. Hers was an entire ocean away, and who knew how long she’d stick around once reality set in? So far, she’d remained resolute, determined to stay despite owing me two-fifths of fuck all. I took nothing for granted. Not her feelings, or my own.
Things changed in the time it took a butterfly to flap its wings. Jill could realize her loyalty to me had vanished at the same time my leg had and was only sticking around because the optics of the alternative didn’t look good.
Renata, my housekeeper, stood by the front door, her rosy cheeks puffed up from the big smile she wore. The familiarity should have soothed me. It didn’t. It just reminded me of what a mess I’d made of everything.
The car drew to a halt. Mara climbed out of the front seat and brought a wheelchair around to the rear. She opened the door and gave me one of her don’t-mess-with-me smiles.
“Home sweet home. Here, give me your arm.”
“I can manage,” I growled, gripping the arms of the chair and hoisting myself into it. All those pull-ups and tricep dips at the gym had come in far handier than I’d ever have thought. I had good upper body strength, and if I was to haul around my two-hundred-pound frame of pure muscle, I’d need it.
Probably one ninety now that I was missing half a leg.
I laughed internally at the dark thought. Using humor as a defense mechanism wasn’t part of my pre-accident MO, but it sure as fuck had become part of me now.
Whatever got me through the day, right?
Jill walked alongside me as Mara pushed me toward the house. Renata bent to kiss my cheek.
“Welcome home, Blaize.”
I squeezed her arm and managed a smile. “Thank you, Renata.” I took Jill’s hand. “This is Jill.”
Renata shook Jill’s hand. “You must both be hungry and exhausted after your trip. I made your favorite.” She winked at me.