Page 41 of Blackout

My mum had gone silent, and I could tell she needed to compose herself to say what she had to say next. ‘When your grandparents moved us out of their house, I knew I couldn’t sleep the rest of my life away. It’s taken a long time to get to a place I’d call normal, and I work on my new normal every day. I still have moments where I can’t get out of bed, but I know that’s okay. It took me a while to find a job that let me work from home as well as the office. But I found one, and when I have one of those days where I can’t face the world, I stay home.’

Hearing Mum tell us about her struggle since my dad had passed made me realise I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t fully come to terms with my father’s death. She had surprised me as much as I guess I had surprised her.

‘Tell me, Addison, what did you do?’ My mother asked, no longer wanting the silence she’d created to linger.

‘I dared Harley to sing publicly and if she didn’t, she would have to hand over the operations of the family business and this house to me. Harley doesn’t sing anymore because the last time she did, she blacked out. So I dared her to. I didn’t know she would take off like that.’

‘What?’ My mother was shocked our dares had gone that far.

‘Why?’ Mum and Grandpa’s questions were a one–two punch into the tension that had built in my living room.

‘Because I want everything that Harley’s been given, this house and her job. So I would have stability when I had my baby.’ As she dropped this bombshell, Addison looked at no one in particular but around living room instead. My sister without a doubt was oblivious to everything I had achieved at the bakery. The house was a gift, and my job was the opportunity to work hard in the family business.

‘Baby!’ everyone except Zach and I exclaimed, astonished.

Zach raised eyebrow as he glanced at me, which told me he wasn’t impressed by the ‘given’ comment Addison had made, not after the conversation we’d shared in his truck on our way down to Melbourne.

‘You’re pregnant?’ My mother questioned her youngest daughter.

‘Yes,’ was all that Addison said. Her one-worded answer hung in the silence that followed.

No one was shocked that Addison wasn’t forthcoming with more information about her pregnancy. But that was Addison keeping her business close to her chest. We were all slow to congratulate my sister, and the thoughts running through everyone’s minds were evident in the lines of their faces as they looked at one another.

Grandpa was the first to recover. ‘With a stunt like that, Addison, I shouldn’t employ you,’ he told my sister. ‘But as you have shown interest in working at the bakery, I’ll train you personally, just like I did with Harley. If you aren’t far too along in your pregnancy, we should have plenty of time to work on your baking before we move onto your management skills.’

‘Great,’ my sister huffed as she stood, her interest in our family meeting depleted. ‘If there is nothing else to talk about, then I would like to go.’

We all said goodbye to Addison and watched as she strolled down the hallway of my house. Grandma slid the kitchen chair she was occupying back, stood, and followed Addison out of my house. Would Addison listen to any of the words anyone spoke to her?

‘Harley, I expect to see you back at work next week,’ Grandpa said as he turned his attention to me.

‘No,’ I said back. This new-found confidence made it easier to stand my ground.

‘Harley?’ Grandpa’s voice had only slightly risen.

‘No, Grandpa.’ I didn’t raise my voice. This was my chance to start to change things in my life. ‘I’m sorry, but I won’t be back at work next week. If you want someone to work in the office for the bakery, please hire someone or get Mum to do it, if she’s interested. Now that Mum is back on her feet, she could handle it if you train her or get someone else to train her. We all know she needs to put in as many hours as Addison does.’ I may have overstepped, but I didn’t want to work in the bakery anymore.

‘Harley, this is not like you. What’s happened in the last four days that has made you like this?’ Grandpa asked me.

I’d found out something: that I’d been stuck in Groundhog Day. But also, I’d found there was more to life than work. I needed balance, less work and more fun.

‘I told you I needed a break, Grandpa,’ I responded as we locked eyes. ‘There is more to life than work, and I needed to see what life looked like when I wasn’t at work.’

‘This is all your fault.’ Grandpa pointed to Zach. ‘What rubbish have you filled her head with?’

‘I haven’t filled her head with anything, sir,’ Zach said firmly as Grandma sat back down in her chair at the kitchen table. ‘Harley needed a break and now that she’s had one, she is an even more amazing woman than when she sat down exhausted at my bar.’

Did Zach just call me amazing in front of my family? Of course he did. Heat flamed my cheeks as I thought about how Zach had come to the conclusion that I was amazing. Was it my four-day break that made his statement true or was it that I had stood my ground and was finally making changes in my life? Regardless, now that I was stepping back from my job at the bakery, I realised I needed some alone time to figure out what I was going to do next.

I moved away from where I stood next to Zach and moved further into my living room. ‘I know that this has all been a lot to take in, but I think this meeting is over for now. I know we’ll all be in touch as we transition into this new phase, but right now, I need some time alone to work out what I want for the first time in my life.’

Mum kissed my cheek as she walked past me and out the door. Grandma squeezed my hand, and I kissed her cheek. Grandpa walked past me, and I almost let him walk out without another word between us, but I didn’t.

‘Bye, Grandpa.’

But he remained silent as he reached for Grandma’s arm. A moment later, Zach and I were the only people left in my house.

I let out a deep breath.