Page 23 of Falling for You

I can’t help but grin. This girl has no idea, does she?

“Ronnie, you light up a room. You probably have no idea how many guys like you.”

She ducks her head. “I’ve never had a boyfriend or really even been asked out on a date.”

I squeeze her hand. “Because you’re intimidating as hell.”

“Intimidating? Me?” She sputters and I laugh.

“You’re beautiful and you’re super smart. That’s damn intimidating to us guys. We’re scared to death of a challenge like you.”

I shift and reach over. I push a strand of hair out of her face and cup her chin. “The first time I saw you, I felt something I had never felt before. I’m not a guy with a lot of friends and I’m cynical as hell about everything. You made me want to believe in something innocent and pure again.” A little too honest and too fast, but I don’t think I can stop talking. There’s something about her that makes me want to confess everything.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Sex and love can never be mutually exclusive in my head. I wish they could be. Sex as a teenage girl is easy to find; love not so much. -Ronnie

Ronnie

I almost shake my head in denial. His words have to be just that. Words. I’ve never felt like anything special.

Usually, I’m happy to be in the background. Ever since my mom died, that’s where I’ve tried to blend into. I remember going back to school after she passed away and all the stares and whispers. I remember wanting nothing more than to disappear. To be seen, like Sawyer says he sees me, is an amazing thing.

I grab his hand and stroke his palm. “I think, either you are a truly out of this world gifted liar, or you may be the most romantic guy I have ever met. I’m including all of the book boyfriends I have, so that’s saying quite a lot.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “I can promise you I’m not lying. I know what they say about the apple not falling far from the tree, but...”

I shake my head quickly and lay my hand on his chest again. I can feel his chest rise and fall under my hand. His heart is beating so fast. Could it be that I make his heart beat that fast?

“I don’t think you’re like your dad at all. I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just hard to believe someone like you could think I’m attractive. You’re so handsome and confident. It just seems a bit unreal.”

He snorts. “I am definitely not that confident. You scare the hell out of me. I’m as far from perfect as a person can be.”

“You seem great to me. My hero.” I stroke his cheek and I can feel the stubble there. It reminds me that Sawyer is a man, not a boy like the guys I go to school with.

He laughs. “I have many, many flaws.” He grins over at me. “I snore, for one, which you’ll soon find out.”

I laugh. “Well, I drool into my pillow, so I’m not counting snoring against you.”

He’s silent for a moment and I fear that his attention is wandering. He says, “I’m angry a lot. I’m angry at my dad, myself, even at my mom which I know I shouldn’t be.”

“Why are you mad at yourself or your mom? From what you’ve told me, there’s nothing y’all could have done.”

“That’s what we did. Nothing. We were both so ignorant. That’s what gets to me. We had no idea anything was going on.” The harshness of his voice startles me. He’s so very hard on himself.

“You can’t blame yourself for that. We only know what other people let us see.”

“You’re wise beyond your years, Ronnie girl.” He sounds so sad that I shift a little closer to him again.

“You know what the worst part is? I don’t really miss him. He was never there anyway and when he was, he never cared what I was doing. I think he liked to brag about me playing football but that was about it. I’m angry at myself that I didn’t stand up to him, and try to make him be there for me and my mom.” He caresses my hand lightly. “I’m angry with my mom, because now I can’t go to the college I planned to go to. Instead, I have to stay here and go to community college so I can be there for her. I feel so goddamned selfish for feeling like that, but I want to just be a college kid. I don’t want to to juggle school and taking care of another person. She shut down after dad died, and I allowed her to do it.” He takes a deep breath and chuckles.

“Red, I don’t know why the hell I just told you all that. Maybe you could forget it and we can move on to lighter subjects?”

I swallow past the lump in my throat.

“Ronnie, are you okay? I didn’t scare you off, did I?” He sounds nervous again.

I kiss his cheek. I reach my arm around him and he shifts so that we’re face to face, holding each other.