Page 19 of Until He Confesses

I had thus far never entertained the thought of kissing anyone and didn't hold any particular interest in it yet here I was losing my mind. Thankfully and as always, Anna appeared out of nowhere and I almost jumped out of my skin.

She laughed as she headed into one of the stalls while I lowered and wet my hands with the cool water. I pressed them against my cheeks and just then her accusation came.

“I knew you were in here moping around.”

I didn’t respond, and soon enough I heard the toilet flush and then she emerged. She watched me with that bright cheery smile she always had and then she said.

“I think he likes me.”

My brain scrambled to a halt.

“What?” I asked.

“That Lucas guy,” she said.

“Oh,” I replied and turned away to grab some paper towels. I handed some over and used the rest for myself.

She stared at me.

“He keeps staring at you and you know what that means, right?”

My attention perked up again as I waited for her to explain what she meant.

“Well, it means of course that he’s trying to avoid looking at me, otherwise I’ll find him out, right? He’s too shy so he stares at the one he’s not interested in instead. Especially at her lips.”

Before then I was attentively processing all that she was saying but as these words emerged from her mouth, I knew she was toying with me.

“You’re a piece of shit.” My leg lifted to kick her, but she managed to escape just in time.

“He likes you, dumbass.” She laughed. “Either that or he’s just really drawn to your lips. Well, to be honest, most people are. They’re plump and curvy and oh, so juicy.”

I had enough.

“Stop,” I said and walked out of the bathroom.

She came after me.

“He’s a catch,” she said. “So don’t blow this up. This night can still be one worth remembering.”

As it happened it wasn’t. From the time we returned to the table till we headed home, he seemed to make it a mission to ignore my very existence. It was aggravating but who was I to complain?

So, that night was spectacular only because it was the start of my acquaintance with probably the only person besides Anna that I would come to hold so true and dear to my heart. From him, I had learned what love was regardless of how brief our relationship had been, and it had been the standard by which I had judged my later romantic relationships in life. I realized now that since Lucas, there had only been two other people, and after being massively disappointed I had more or less given up altogether.

Of course, back then, I would never have admitted that it was because of him. That is because no one as of yet could compare, and when Anna had suggested this to be the case, I had nearly drowned her in the pool we were in at the time. But now and as I strutted into the terminals and past the security checks, a full-grown adult with her head supposedly screwed on right, I finally had to realize and admit the truth to myself.

I had missed him. So much that I could feel the ache throbbing in a corner of my heart. What I wanted to do, what I couldn't wait to do, was escape. To head to whatever accommodations they had arranged for us and to bury myself underneath my covers and hide. Although based on how I felt now I doubt I would be able to get a lick of sleep tonight. He had taken my phone number which meant there was a very real possibility he would contact me. I didn’t want him to and could recall admonishing myself when I had been reciting the numbers to slip in a wrong one in order to block all his paths toward me.

However, before I could decide, I was done and a part of me had been scared he would call right then and realized that I lied. And I never wanted to lie to him. In the past, it had been because of how I felt about him and how much I trusted him but now, it was because I didn’t think he was worth the effort, and I needed the truth, every truth to sting as much as possible.

I wanted him to feel mocked by it and for it to be a clear slap in the face that I had never felt the need to stoop down to his level to be dishonest.

I released a heavy sigh as eventually we got into the provided bus and began to navigate our way through the streets of London.

I watched the passing scenery and tried my best to revive my earlier excitement for visiting the city, but now I just felt exhausted.

8

CALLIE