Page 25 of Reptile Dysfunction

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Page 25 of Reptile Dysfunction

Luckily, though, Officer Kelly jumps right in.

“Whatever you need, Mayor Wendall, we’re here to help. Protect and serve, and sometimes give personal or maybe professional advice,” she tells me with pride.

This time it’s Sergeant Adams who rolls his eyes, and I do my best to ignore the fact that one of them got stuck halfway around.

“Well,” I begin, still grappling with how to explain this. “Charlotte Lieberman called me this morning asking to shadow me for a profile piece. As far as I can tell, she’d be with me every moment of every day, watching everything I do. On the one hand, it could be a good opportunity for reconciliation. On the other hand, she’s done a lot of damage and this may just end up in more slander. What do you two think?”

The two of them answer in unison, and of course, their answers are at the exact opposite ends of the spectrum.

“Do it,” replies Officer Kelly with a grin.

“Absolutely not,” says Sergeant Adams at the same time.

I sigh. “Thanks for your help.”

I leave the two of them and do the rest of the rounds, greeting officers and posing for photos, but the confusion only compounds as I ponder what to do with Charlotte.

By the time I’m done with the meet-and-greet, and on my way out the door, I’m leaning towards refusing the offer. Suddenly though, I hear my name being called from behind me.

Officer Kelly has managed to sneak away from Sergeant Adams, by the looks of it, and has followed me outside.

“What can I do for you?” I ask with a smile.

“This is just my two cents,” she says conspiratorially. “But I think the profile piece is a good idea. Charlotte Lieberman has only been writing those horrible things about you because she doesn’t really know you. Everyone else in this town does, and they love you. I think if you give her a chance to see the kind of person you really are, she might change her tune.”

I have to admit, she has a point, and even though I’m still wary, I realize I have more to mull over now.

“Thank you, Officer Kelly,” I say with genuine gratitude. “That’s very encouraging.”

She nods slightly before turning back to the station, presumably in the hopes that Sergeant Adams hasn’t noticed her absence.

The whole way back to the town hall, I mull Officer Kelly’s words over in my mind. I’ve always been of the opinion that the proof of my service to the people of Curiosity is in the pudding. Maybe if Charlotte accompanies me in the day-to-day running of this town, she’ll see that, too.

When I get back to my office, the first thing I do is call the Herald.

“Hi, Eddie?” I say, eager to follow through with my conviction. “Could you put me through to Ms. Lieberman, please?”

When Charlotte answers the phone, I find that not only am I no longer wary, I’m actually excited at the prospect of proving to her that I’m an upstanding politician. This might even be fun.

“Thank you for your patience, Ms. Lieberman,” I tell her. “I’ve thought over your proposal, and I’d be very happy for you to accompany me throughout my work day. When should we begin?”

There’s a short pause on the other end of the phone, and for a split second, I wonder if she’s disappointed that I accepted the offer. A second later though, I hear her voice on the other end of the line.

“That's great news, Mayor Wendall,” she says smoothly. “How about tomorrow? What does your schedule look like?”

I take a quick look at my calendar and smile.

“Tomorrow’s perfect,” I tell her. “I have a visit to the slime factory in the morning. Then a town planning meeting to discuss the construction of a hell pit in the children’s playground. After that, I have an organizational meeting for Pickle Fest.”

“And in the afternoon, I’ll be conducting a Monster Next Door event to introduce residents to each other and build community bonds. After that, I’ll do the rounds at the slop kitchen, and then there’s a fundraising event in the evening for the Geriatric Vampires Association. They need to raise some money for false fangs. How does all that sound?”

There’s another pause, and I can only imagine Charlotte is absorbing everything I’ve just said.

“Uh, that sounds great,” she finally tells me. “What time should I meet you?”

“Well, the slime factory visit is at seven o’clock, so shall we meet at town hall at six-thirty?”

“In the morning?” she asks incredulously.




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