Page 26 of Reptile Dysfunction

“In the morning. Of course, you don’t have to join for the whole day if you don’t want to,” I reassure her.

“No, no,” she replies quickly. “I want to see everything.”

I can’t help but grin. “Great, then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

15

CHARLOTTE

The crack of dawn is not my preferred time to start the morning, and I groan when I realize I have to spend the whole day with Mayor Wendall. He still reeks of corruption, and I can only guess that today will be a fabricated dog and pony show, designed to fool me and make him look good.

I just wonder why he’s insisting on starting this ruse so early in the morning.

When I arrive outside the town hall, I feel like I’m still half-asleep, but Mayor Wendall is somehow looking as spritely and gorgeous as ever.

“Good morning,” he says, way too happily. “Would you like some coffee?”

He holds out a takeaway cup in one hand and a bunch of creamer and sugar in the other.

“I wasn’t sure how you take it, so I hope this is okay,” he adds.

I want to be suspicious, but everything in me is craving caffeine right now, so I take the cup gratefully.

“Thanks. Black is fine,” I tell him.

He grins. “Ah, so we do have something in common.”

I give him a look that warns him not to get too chummy, but he seems to just be happy that I’m enjoying the coffee. Which I am. A lot.

“Well, shall we get going?” he asks once I’ve taken a couple of deep swigs. “The factory is on the outskirts of town, so it’ll take us a little while to get there.”

“Sure,” I tell him. “Lead the way.”

It takes us about twenty minutes of strained silence in his car before we reach the factory, but as we pull up, I decide to say something.

“So remember,” I tell him in my most serious reporter voice. “Just go about your business as you usually would. Pretend I’m not even here.”

The mayor smiles at me. “Of course, I understand you’re here as an impartial observer,” he says. “Don’t worry Everything you see today is part of my regular schedule.”

I give him a look so he knows I see through his phony little speech, but he doesn’t answer. Instead, he just gives me a smile and steps out of the car.

The slime factory erupts into cheers the moment he walks onto the factory floor, and for a second, I’m not sure what’s happening. It seems like they really are just cheering for the mayor’s presence, and I figure it has to be some kind of publicity stunt orchestrated for my benefit.

I decide to hang back, hoping the mayor or one of the workers will drop their act for a second and let me see through to what’s really going on. That moment never comes, though. Instead, I see workers heartily shaking the mayor’s hand, and when we get into the factory manager’s office, he’s practically singing the mayor’s praises.

“It’s an honor to have you here, Mayor Wendall,” he says, and if giant squid had ears, I’d say he was grinning from ear to ear. “You’ve done so much to help us here, and I’m so glad you were able to schedule a visit. I know you’re a very busy man.”

“It’s my pleasure, Ralph,” the mayor replies. “I wanted to come down and see how the training program has been going with my own eyes. And from the smiles on the workers’ faces, I’d say it’s going well!”

I know I’m meant to just be an observer today, but I can’t help myself.

“Training program?” I ask, trying to figure out what they’re talking about.

Ralph turns to me, his huge bulbous eyes wide with delight. “When the schools switched to slime in the cafeteria, we were in over our heads with the order. Mayor Wendall implemented a training program that solved the problem for the factory, as well as basically eliminating unemployment in Curiosity. He’s really been a life-saver for all of us.”

Mayor Wendall does a whole modesty routine, but I can see he’s genuinely proud of this achievement, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Ralph was genuinely grateful.

The theme only continues when we get back to the town hall for the planning meeting. It’s not only town planners and councilors present, either. The planning committee also includes several of Curiosity’s parents who are apparently volunteering for the project. I start to wonder if this might be classified as labor exploitation, but before I can even press for that angle, one of the parents speaks up.