Page 38 of Really Truly Yours
Now he sits straight. “Well, yeah, I got bills to pay.”
The look I feel my face making is not under my control. However, I do know arguing with Sam is a giant time-sucker. He plays by his own set of rules, rules that, oddly, lean heavily in his favor.
“Besides, you’ve got another job, Nee.”
I remind myself that he’s not addicted or in prison.
Truthfully, I wouldn’t be half as upset had I not noticed the obnoxious brand new wheels on his already laughably souped up and jacked up truck. Thanks to having Sam for a brother all these years, I have a pretty good idea how much those gawdy accessories set him back.
I won’t starve. I have a stash—a stash that’s shrinking by the day, thanks to some loser who couldn’t be bothered to play by the rules like the rest of us and carry liability insurance.
I love my brother and I know he loves me, but sometimes…
On the plus side, deferring my dreams of an education gets a little easier every time I have to do it.
Another year or two and I might not care at all.
Grayson
Sometimes, even when a guy tries to do the right thing, he makes a mess.
That’s me with Donny.
Eh, Sydnee, too.
I’ll give myself some leeway on the Donny thing. A man needs to be forgiven if it takes a little time to embrace his long-lost deadbeat father who rejected him.
But Sydnee? It’s been a long time since a woman threw me out.
Avery ripped me, politely, of course, for the money thing when I told her and Tripp about my day. Even my brother agreed I’d been a clod and reminded me that you can’t step on people’s pride.
So. Apologize for my obtuseness or chalk it up to lesson-learned?
An apology would mean seeing her again, so there is that.
Thing is, money might not have been my only trespass. Excepting my already acknowledged moronic stage, I’ve always kept solid boundaries with women. Twice now I’ve acted without prudence toward Sydnee, a woman who screams the need for firm boundaries and widely drawn lines.
I meant no disrespect.
From my seat on the inset ledge in the deep blue swimming pool, I watch my brother and sister-in-law share a kiss, backgrounded by colorful potted flowers and lush greenery. You’d think they’d been separated five days, not a five-minute trip to the kitchen, when Avery delivers a plateful of hamburger patties to put on the grill.
I’ve reached that point in life where I’d like what they have. Sadly, it could be I’ll botch any chance that might come my way. I’m a walking screwup lately.
The shimmery water is on the chilly side, and my shoulder won’t allow laps. Nonetheless, I’m making the most of what will likely be the last swim of the season. Clouds are starting to hide the sun, and I saw the weather forecast calling for storms tonight and fall-like weather this weekend.
Figures. I sacrifice my shoulder for a little cool air and then summer calls it quits within forty-eight hours.
When Avery goes inside, I towel off and sit at the patio table near the outdoor kitchen. A breeze tunes up the chimes dangling from the soffit.
Tripp closes the lid on the grill. “You look serious.”
I ball the towel and scuff it over my drippy hair. “Maybe a little.”
“Donny?” He pulls out a chair. I notice he’s got a diamond stud in one ear. Avery says he doesn’t do that much since leaving undercover work, but she also mentioned yesterday that he might dive back in for a one-time thing as a favor for a friend.
“Yeah.” I sit forward, shifting the wad of towel from hand to hand. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”