Page 88 of When Sinners Fear
“I don’t like that you’re not confident.”
I shrug. “I can’t fix that. It’s something that we’ll have to work on together.” Together. The word feels strange.
We continue walking back towards his car.
“Do you want to come back for the important checkups at the doctor?” I ask.
“Yes. That’s another thing. I’ll handle the doctor and care.”
“Wait, but Knox, I have a doctor here.”
“Non-negotiable.”
I nod. That one is easier to cope with than the apartment. And I’m glad he wants to be involved. With my mom gone, I don’t have anyone who I’d want to share this with right now, apart from Evie, and I’m not ready to tell her, Matthew or Father.
Maybe over the holidays.
One thing at a time.
We get into the car, and I should be happy. I should feel whisked off my feet, but I don’t. There’s so much uncertainty, but I have an idea of what will help.
“Do you remember the beach?” I ask, my heart racing. He looks at me and tilts his head. “The beach you spoke about. You described it so beautifully it made me long for it.”
“I remember.”
“Take me to it.”
“Now? It’s winter.”
“It doesn’t matter. Show me that with all of the bad and pain of our past, and no matter how confusing things between us will get, at the heart of it all, there’s us. If this is really all in, I need to hold onto something that’s ours. And I don’t know what that is yet. So show me.” Emotion catches in my throat as I ask him for this. “Live my life with me, one experience at a time. Please.”
“The beach?”
“Not just the beach. But it’s a good place to start.”
“More romancing?”
“Not romancing, keeping my hope alive. Helping me live. Let's do all the things together that will drown out the questions and fears I have about you and your family and make me love you even more than I already do.” I reach for his hand. “There’s going to be a lot of uncertainty in the future. I don’t want to be sitting around at work or in my new apartment wishing things were different.”
“You want to stay here for your work still, right?”
“Yes. But I’m going to need to take time off for the baby. I’ve got plenty of time to complete my studies, yet we don’t have plenty of time before we’re parents.” That word is terrifying. “If this is how you need us to work, I want to make the most of it with you. You told me you wanted me to live. Well, live my life with me, Knox Cortez.”
“That’s a pretty proposal, Peyton Summers. You want me to fulfil some dreams? I’ll give you them all.”
EPILOGUE
KNOX
“Knox?” I’m not listening to Shaw, nor am I stopping until I get this fucking asshole to understand my point of view on him saying no to me. No one says no to me anymore. No one says no, no one laughs, and sure as hell no one’s thinking about taking over Ike’s line of supply. That cunt is dead thanks to Shaw, and I’m about to finish this one.
His neck snaps in my hold on the final, sharp, twist, and I let the body slump to the ground beneath me. My head comes up slowly, eyes glaring at any of his guys that think they might try playing leader on my family’s field. Every single one of them looks at the floor or somewhere else around this old bar. Good. Considering we’re about to spend less time here and more time in New York, I need them to comprehend the magnitude of my fucking rage about this kinda crap.
“We tell you where, when, how and who. You don’t fucking breathe without our saying that’s good.” I snarl and look down at whoever this dick was, kicking the lifeless form to get rid of some more frustration. It’s been a month since I last saw her. Which means a month of worry and zero goddamn fucking. “You understand me?” They all nod, and the asshole who thought himself second in command steps forward.
“I warned him, Poe, but he was reckless. I won’t be.” I roll down my sleeves and look at Kai and Shaw both circling, wondering if this asshole needs killing, too. “We’re loyal to you and your family. Whatever you need. Anything.” He comes a little closer, too close for my liking, and reaches a hand forward to shake mine.
I look at it outstretched and sneer. “That’s not how this works. You prove yourself and then maybe we’ll talk. You can start with the west side borders. Keep them secure and we might have something to discuss.” Kai chuckles about something and shoves one of the guys, sending him reeling to the ground. Shaw joins in, baiting one of the others with some pushing of his own.