Page 64 of Mafia and Protector
“But you know we don’t want him to be initiated!” Although Nancia was angry and arguing, I could see she was also getting upset now, and I suspected her anger was a thin veneer used to disguise her vulnerability. “So why keep on forcing it on him?” I knew Rafael had said that Nate wasn’t that keen on his training, but I hadn’t known that it was as bad as him not wanting to be initiated—that was disastrous in our world.
“No one in our families has a choice over this, including Nate.” Gabriel’s voice was hard. “Just because I’m his brother and Capo, that doesn’t mean I can give him an out. If anything, it’s even more important that he’s seen following our rules to set an example to the rest of the Società.”
“And what example would that be?” A hint of sarcasm crept into Nancia’s voice as she rose to the defense of her twin. “Join your merry band of killers, or be killed yourself?” I could see how Nancia was determined to stand up to her older brothers and do whatever she could to protect her twin brother.
I was getting the distinct impression, however, that it was Nancia, not Nate, who had the problem with Nate being initiated.
Gabriel looked at his sister. “You may not like it, but it’s the way it is. Rafael and I have done Nate’s training ourselves and we’ve been way easier on him than if our father had taken charge. Nevertheless, Nate still has certain things he has to learn and there’s no easy way around that. You may not like him doing some of those things, but you’ll both get used to it—you have to.”
Nancia’s voice was quieter. “I can’t bear to see him do these things.” A tear ran silently down her cheek, and although she was talking about Nate suffering, I could see that it was really Nancia who had the issue with it—and it was killing her. They were extremely close, as to be expected for twins, and their bond meant that this was weighing down heavily on Nancia’s shoulders.
Gabriel ran his hand through his hair. “He can’t keep bailing on us—he’s done it too many times recently. If this was any other recruit, he’d have his ass kicked for failing to turn up yet again.”
Nancia swiped the tears that had escaped down her cheeks, but somehow I sensed that this was not going to be a quick fix with the twins.
***
Later that day, Nancia and I went shopping at the mall and I let her go on a bit of a spree. She had been really down earlier, worrying about Nate, and I thought this might distract her for a while.
“It’s nice having another girl to shop with,” commented Nancia. “Nate won’t ever come shopping with me—that’s the problem of having three brothers. You’re lucky, you’ve got one of each—one brother and one sister.”
“Three brothers does sound a bit boisterous.”
“Luckily, Nate always sides with me. Otherwise, it would always be three boys against one girl.”
I laughed. “Does Nate ever get a choice about whether he wants to take your side or not?”
“Of course he does,” said Nancia seriously. “But he always agrees with me because he’s my twin and he would do anything for me.”
Later that afternoon, we spread out Nancia’s purchases and she tried on various items again. “I love this skirt.” She twirled in front of the full-length mirror. “But I won’t let Gabriel or Rafael see it because they’re bound to say it’s too short.”
“Protective older brothers, huh?”
“Just a bit,” she sighed. “At least Nate isn’t like that with me yet. Is your older brother the same?”
“Jake? Yes, he is.” Thinking about him made a pang of loneliness hit me.
“It’s like it goes with the whole Made Man thing. They’re over-protective of everyone and everything in their lives.” Nancia took off the skirt and swapped it for a pair of capri pants.
“I guess they have to be to an extent, with all the dangers our lifestyle entails.”
“I just wish I could have some more freedom. It’s so stifling with all the rules. Nate’s always being told the things he has to do, like torture and killing; while I’m always being told the things I’mnotallowed to do, like going out without a guard or being independent in any way. The Mafia world is beyond strange.”
“Just enjoy your childhood while it lasts.” My voice was wistful.
Nancia stopped preening in front of the mirror. “Jessica, what’s it really like?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, marrying a complete stranger? I can’t wait to get married. It’ll be like being in a fairytale and everyone will be admiring my ring and beautiful white dress.” She smiled, caught up in a girlhood daydream, still very much an innocent at heart.
“I think every young girl thinks that way,” I said gently.
“That’s what I mean. I have these images in my mind, but then I go to these weddings and watch whoever is the latest bride, and I always end up wondering if it’s really as romantic as I think it’ll be. What’s it like having to marry someone you don’t know?”
How could I answer that? Not only had I married a stranger, but my father-in-law had raped me beforehand. I was caught by surprise by Nancia’s childlike curiosity, yet I couldn’t bring myself to burst her bubble.
“The wedding, the dress, the celebration—it was all wonderful, just like I had always dreamed it would be. Rafael wasn’t a complete stranger—I had seen him at Società events and our families know each other. So, although I was a little nervous, it turned out fine.”