Page 120 of Love… It's Messy

“I don’t want a conditional love. Even if you’re negative, you’ll love me like it’s an apology to a wrong. One you’ll never forgive yourself for. I want us to love one another fiercely, whether it’s for one good day and a million bad ones.”

“You don’t know what you’re signing up for.”

“I know what I’d be losing if I let you walk upstairs. Positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. It’s never mattered. All that matters is us.”

I told myself I’d stay away from this woman until I knew my fate, but she makes it fucking impossible. I never knew I could love someone so much that I’d risk staying away from them in order to make them happy. What I didn’t realize was that she loves me just enough to keep me just as I am.

My beautiful, sweet Jillian Hathaway.

I let go of her hands and stare at her and her wide, determined eyes and lips pleading to be loved. Forever. Unconditionally.

“Jillian. Luke.” Eric Hollenford is standing in the lobby with his suit jacket on and a coffee in his hand. “I was just on my way back upstairs. We have your results in. Are you ready to come up?”

I look at Jillian, who is running her hands on her jogging suit.

“Just tell me now, Doc. I can’t handle the wait,” I say to Eric with my eyes glued on hers.

“I can’t. You have to be upstairs. There’s a protocol.”

Jillian’s eyes are pleading with me. Her frown prominent as she begs me to stay with her. She reaches out for my hand and squeezes it. That little squeeze sends a bolt of electricity up my arm and straight for my heart.

I let out a heavy breath.

“I’ve changed my mind. I’m not going to find out,” I say to Eric.

Jillian’s head jumps up as she looks at me in elated shock.

“Really?” Jillian asks.

“Really.”

She lays a hand on my chest, pulling on my shirt. “Are you sure?”

Am I sure?No. I’m not sure about anything except the fact that I love this woman. This wild madwoman who has me thinking in circles when I’m around her. She’s right; if I find out, I’ll never be the same. We’ll never be the same. Maybe just living is what’s best for us … for our family.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“What about Ainsley?” she counters, making sure I’m positive in my decision.

“Like you said, we’ll let her decide when the time comes.”

She lifts up onto her toes, throws her arms around my neck, and kisses me. I take her by the waist and kiss her back for what is the first of many kisses for the rest of our lives, no matter how long or short that might be.

A clearing of Eric’s throat has me letting my girl go yet taking her hand.

“Sorry about that. Must be awkward with you liking my girl and all,” I say.

Jillian elbows me in the gut.

Eric nods with an awkward yet matter-of-fact expression. “A little, but it’s cool. I just want to say …” He pauses with a smile. It’s big and reassuring. “You two enjoy a very long life together.” He winks and walks away.

Jillian lifts a finger and points toward Eric. “Did he just wink?”

“He did.”

“Was that a good wink, likeenjoy your long life together because I know you’re negative?”

“It could have been aha-ha, sucker, you’re gonna die earlywink.”