Page 36 of Breaking Bristol

Every moment I was off the past month, I had spent it with Bristol. We’d gone on a lot of dates, some of which included being in public together in Warrenville. We went to breakfast at the Pickled Pig, the local diner, and had drinks at The Tap.

I was hesitant at first, fearful she’d be judged for being with me after what I did, but for the most part, nobody looked twice at us together. My aunt and uncle had heard rumors, so they called to confirm, and when I told them we were seeing each other, they were happy. I asked them not to say anything to Bristol because I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable or feel pressured to tell them something she wasn’t ready to.

Bristol was the kind of woman who liked to have fun, and I was happy to give her that. It was a shame she’d been so lonely since she’d moved here, but watching her let her guard down was a beautiful thing to behold.

I started to believe that I could actually make it work. She made me want to be better, for her. I wanted to give her the things she was missing, and I hoped that my past wouldn’t get in the way of us being happy together. The biggest problem now was that I hadn’t told her.

A part of me thought she knew because she was friends with Cheyenne. And let’s not forget that Warrenville was a small town, so there was a good chance that someone else had told her or that she’d just heard from local gossip. I assumed if she knew, she wouldn’t be seeing me anymore. She still hadn’t divulged any details about who hurt her in the past, but I was afraid when she found out that I killed a man, she’d want nothing to do with me.

So as fucked up as it was, I was doing my best to get her so into me that when she found out the truth about my past, she’d be in too deep to walk away.

I got sick just thinking about it, so I pushed it back to the recesses of my mind. “Dr. B?” There was a tap on my door, and I looked up to see one of the nurses.

“Hey, Debbie. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to let you know… they’ve already got an IV started, but Lauren’s here.”

Christ, this wasn’t what I needed today. Bristol was coming to my place tonight after work and spending the weekend with me. I did not want to see my ex-wife. “What’s her complaint?”

“Cramping… sounds like a miscarriage.”

Dammit. “Okay, I’ll go in.”

I pushed to my feet and when I got to the door, Debbie didn’t move. Her perceptive blue eyes studied my face. “All due respect, Dr. B, but if you don’t think you can handle this, I’ll call radiology now so you don’t have to go in there.”

If she wasn’t the best nurse I’d ever seen, I’d have taken offense to that. But Debbie was seasoned; she’d been around the block and didn’t beat around the bush. I liked that. You wouldn’t make it in the ER if you weren’t brash enough to speak your mind. “I’ll be fine.”

I read some test results from a different patient and went to tell them the news, and when I was done with that, Debbie told me Lauren was ready. I glanced at her vitals, read her labs, and went into the room, rubbing sanitizer on my hands. “Hi, Lauren.”

She looked so frail. She was always slender, but I’d never seen her so gaunt. After she lost her mind in a severe mental health episode, charges weren’t pressed even though they should have been. After all, she terrified Lucy and went after Cheyenne with a knife.

But because Cheyenne has a big heart, she agreed not to press charges if Lauren got admitted to a mental health facility. Lauren got treatment for about six months, and after I initially dropped her off, I hadn’t seen her since. “I’m sorry, Beck.” She looked around in a panic and the monitor beeped. “I would have gone somewhere else but—”

“Hey, stop. It’s fine. Let me take a look, and we’ll figure out where to go from there, okay?”

Her heart rate slowed back to normal, and she nodded. “Okay.”

I performed an exam, then sat on the stool as Debbie pushed the ultrasound cart toward me. She dimmed the lights, and I squirted some gel on Lauren’s stomach. It was a matter of seconds before I had the answer, but I took my time to make sure I didn’t see anything else.

“Give us a minute,” I said quietly to Debbie as I cleaned Lauren up.

She nodded and took the cart with her, sliding the door to give us privacy. I turned around and took a step closer to Lauren. “I’m sorry.”

I didn’t have to explain further because she knew, sobbing before I even had the chance. It was difficult to watch, not only because she was a woman who had just lost a baby, but because she was my ex-wife. I hated her—as far as I was concerned I’d die a happy man if I never had to see her again—but I was still human. At one time, I cared about her. And if our marriage hadn’t imploded the way it had, this could have been my baby in her belly. So it was a little bit of a mind fuck to be in this situation.

I genuinely had hoped she was doing better and getting whatever help she needed, but I was afraid any progress she made would be thwarted by this. She wasn’t my problem anymore, though. I didn’t want to give her any indication that our relationship was nothing more than what it was at this moment.

“Is there someone I can call for you? The father?”

She shook her head. “He didn’t even know I was pregnant, it wasn’t serious.”

“Your parents?”

“No. They’ve barely spoken to me since…” She took the paper towel I handed her and wiped her nose. “I’ll just take a cab home.”

“You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

Her eyes closed, and she ran her fingers through her hair, but they got stuck on some knots, and she then rested her hand on her stomach. “I’ll be fine.”