Page 37 of Breaking Bristol
“Let me rephrase that. You can’t be alone tonight, Lauren. Doctor’s orders.”
“Fine,” she snapped. “I’ll go to my grandma’s.”
I don’t know why I did it, but before I could take the words back, it was too late. “I’m almost done with my shift. I’ll take you.”
* * *
After the shit day I’d just had, I opened the door to my condo to Bristol’s beautiful, smiling face. She was a sight for sore eyes. I left my key under the mat, and damn, was I glad to come home to her. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a quick, hard kiss before she pulled back enough to say, “Three days is too long.”
“Yeah, it is.” I kicked the door shut and hugged her back, tension releasing from my muscles and contentment filling my body just from being near her.
She brushed her lips across my jaw, then dropped her heels to the floor. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I started to walk away. “You want a glass of wine?”
“Matthew. Don’t.” She grabbed my arm. “Talk to me. What’s the matter?”
I should have known I couldn’t hide anything from her, at least not the obvious frustration. She deserved honesty, and I wanted to tell her. Not just because I wanted her support but because I wanted to know how she’d react. “Let me get you some wine, then we’ll talk.” Her complexion paled, and I realized how that sounded. I softened my tone. “Nothing about you or us, sweetheart. So get that look off your face.”
“Sorry, I’ve just never seen you like this.”
“It’s not every day you have to treat your ex-wife for a miscarriage.”
Her shoulders slumped, and the lines between her eyebrows deepened. “That had to have been really hard. I’m so sorry.”
“Worse was driving her to her grandma’s after, and before you get mad, I know I could have called a cab, but I wouldn’t have felt right sending her on her way alone. I wouldn’t with any patient.”
“My God, Matthew. Why would I be mad about that?” she asked.
“Because I was alone with my ex. An ex I’ve barely told you anything about.”
She huffed in annoyance and crossed her arms. “What kind of woman do you think I am?”
“I’m sorry. I just thought hearing that, you’d—”
“What? Be angry that you were compassionate to a person who at one time meant something to you? If anything, it shows me even more of your character and reaffirms that you are the man I hope you’ll continue to be. But for you to think that about me? That I’d be pissed because you gave her a ride… that’s messed up.”
The past couple of years I’d been on such the defense that it was my first reaction to most things. And like I was hoping, like I already knew deep down, Bristol didn’t disappoint. She didn’t overreact. She wasn’t petty or jealous… just kind and understanding until I’d gone and blown it. “You’re right.”
“I know I am.”
“Listen, Bristol…” I pinched the bridge of my nose, needing to explain more without telling her everything. “After our divorce, which was as you can imagine pretty messy, Lauren kind of… snapped. She made some very poor and dangerous choices and ended up in a mental health facility. I was the one who took her there, and that was the last time I saw her until today.”
“Is she okay now?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, and to be honest, I don’t care. I did, for a long time. Even though she cheated on me, basically throughout our entire marriage I’d learned through the divorce proceedings, I cared about her enough at one time to marry her.”
Baffled, she started to speak and then stopped before finally asking, “You… cared about her enough to marry her? Not loved her?”
“No. And to be fair, she didn’t love me, either. She didn’t take my name and had no qualms about signing a prenup.”
“Why even get married then?”
“You’re not gonna like this answer, but the truth is, it was more for convenience. For both of us,” I added quickly. “She was a pharmaceutical rep, so we understood each other’s worlds. We were both busy, so to have someone to come home to every once in a while was… nice. Easy? Don’t get me wrong, I had enough feelings for her to take a vow, which I stood by, and I thought she did too, but obviously, I was wrong.”
I hated that there was a look in her eyes I’d never seen before, kind of confused, kind of weary. “That’s… I mean, I understand it, but from what I know of you, that doesn’t seem like you at all.”
“It’s not. Who I am with you is the man I’m supposed to be.”