Page 130 of Rise & Fall
One thing.
Love.
“You shouldn’t be afraid of falling. Everyone falls. It means that you’re trying and there’s only one way to go from there. But you also can’t be afraid to rise, little one. Not everyone rises.”
I’ll always catch her when she falls.
the epilogue
Dakota
FIVE MONTHS LATER
“Iseveryoneready?”Icall out to the group of people gathered around the tables at the park.
It’s a beautiful day today, the sun is high in the sky despite the slight end-of-September chill.
Emsley and Aria wiggle their way up close as Nolan joins me by my side.
Pink and blue balloons are scattered under the gazebo and all over the ground, cupcakes to match and little question marks topping them.
My mom and Dex are wearing blue shirts along with Sterling, Nolan and Mitch. Callan, Aria and Em, along with myself, are wearing pink.
It’s been five months since my miscarriage. A traumatic situation I’d never thought I’d have to experience. But I survived it. I survived it because of Nolan. Because he promised me that he loved me no matter what and that we would pick ourselves back up.
He’s the only reason I got through it.
And when I found out three weeks later that I was expecting again, it took everything in me to not be pessimistic especially because I was first deemed infertile. So, it took everything in me to garner hope and faith.
And every two weeks, we went back for that ultrasound. The baby was growing bigger and bigger and my shattered heart healed each time we got to hear the small fluttering beats of their heart.
And now, we have a gender. And the only ones who know are Sterling and Emsley.
My sister can keep a tight secret, but she needed a grown up to help coordinate the actual gender reveal.
I look at the anticipation lighting up on Emsley’s face. She’s so excited, the secret is about to explode from her, but she hangs on for a few more minutes.
Nolan grabs my hand and squeezes his fingers in mine letting me know that no matter what the gender of our baby is, he is grateful that we get this together.
Sterling asked me if I thought he’d propose soon. I know the answer.
We both decided that marriage is not super important to us right now, having gone through some trenches before. Because titles don’t have to mean much when you have everything you need.
Just like Sterling and Callan decided that having a baby right now is not in the cards for them, though it’s technically the next step.
Everyone shares love differently and there is no right or wrong way.
If Nolan wants to propose to me, then I will happily accept. But for now, I’m perfectly content being his firefly, his baby girl, his best friend, and now, the mother of his child.
I look up at him and see so much happiness swirl in his eyes, and I can’t help but feel the intensity of everything this moment means for our future.
“Okay, Em. Tell them what they have to do,” Sterling instructs my little sister who wastes no time feeding us the directions.
“Here are therocket-things. Basically, when I sayhedgehogs ruleyou both pull the little strings at the ends and the rockets will blast off with the color of what my baby cousin will be!” she sings the last few words and my heartstrings twist in so much joy.
Em hands us each arocket-thingand Aria winks at me. We already have a name picked out for whichever gender we’re having. Nolan gave us free reign so Aria and I wasted no time coming up with ideas so that we’d know as soon as the gender was revealed. She’s excited to see which name we’ll get to use.
“I’m nervous.” I look back to Nolan, my whole body shaking with anxiety, not believing this moment is real.