Page 26 of Rise & Fall

I laugh internally, because my statement holds some truth but also, I want to keep him on his toes. What is it about me that makes him want to take me on a date so suddenly? Even after I embarrassed myself in his home.

I don’t mind waiting until you have time. I’m a persistent man.

Whew. My breath literally hitches with avidity, desire.

Like I said, I’ll think about it.

I reply back, trying not to falter; I can’t let him know he gets to me. This round of text messages is obviously intended to be more intimate than the last time we texted. And that thought makes my heart strum violently in my chest.

Well then, I guess I’ll wait for you to make up your mind.

Guess so.

I make a mental note to really think about going on a date with this man. I mean, what’s the harm? But again, I’m not sure I have the emotional capacity to add another factor into my life. After everything with Asher, my mom’s medical status, and trying to figure out how to be a parent to my little sister, I just don’t think I can afford to share any more of my attention.

But it would be nice, hanging out with someone and not having to worry about all of the things that cause a minuscule amount of stress.

But then I remember his daughter.

What about Aria?

I ask before he can finish typing out his response.

Well, depending on what week you decide to be done “thinking about it”, she might be with her mom.

Tension, not the good kind, forms a knot in my stomach. His ex-wife. Of course I knew there’d be an ex-wife after his brother mentioned a divorce earlier. But I didn’t think it would feel weird to actually hear him mention her.

So you share custody?

I ask, knowing damn well it isn’t my business, but my nosey ass sees an opportunity to get information, so I’m taking it.

Yes. One week on, one week off.

I don’t know why I decide to overthink his statement. But that would mean that if I started dating Nolan, there’s a chance I’d have to meet his ex. And I am undoubtedly not ready to step into that kind of situation.

Am I?

But it’s one date. Not a promise of marriage.

Just thinking of marriage makes my heart feel glacial. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been my dream since I was a little girl to get married, but I fear that that dream has been sabotaged thanks to my most recent agenda, being the oblivious girl who got cheated on.

Does that scare you?

His next message comes out of nowhere and I have to think about it. Does it scare me? I mean, really, what is there to be afraid of?

Does what scare me?

Some people get turned off at the idea of an ex still present in some way even after the relationship has ended.

It’s cute how he would assume that I would be easily turned off by his daughter having a mother who is still in the picture. I sit up a little straighter in my bed, feeling absolutely no more sleepiness wash over me as my attention is fully on this text conversation.

One, don’t assume things scare me off so easily. I’m a big girl.

What’s two?

We’re not in a relationship, so I wouldn’t really know how that dynamic works.

It was hypothetical.