Page 62 of Rise & Fall

I wouldn’t say I’m a jealous person, but I will admit that looking over her message again doesn’t sit right with me. I wonder if he stayed in her apartment, maybe in her bed where we…

No. Don’t go there, she’s not that kind of girl.

I decide to start the shower, hoping Aria will sleep a little longer so I can try to clear the thoughts from my head. But before I jump in, the steam filling up the room, I send her a quick text back.

Are you okay?

Followed by another.

And good morning, beautiful.

After the shower, I throw on a pair of light wash denim, a white v neck t-shirt, and check to see that she hasn’t responded back which, admittedly, does make me nervous.

I go to check on my little girl, seeing that she is still sound asleep and realizing that we have to go meet her mom for drop-off in a few hours.

So I take this time to call up my brother, desperately needing to talk this through.

“What’s up, brother?” Mitch greets me upon answering the phone.

“I have a question,” I say.

“Shoot.”

“When you and Carrie were first starting to see each other, you said that her ex was still in the picture, right?” Years ago, when my brother and his wife were first dating, I remember him coming to me pissed about some dude.

“Yeah, that bastard wouldn’t leave her alone.” He chuckles at the memory. But he wasn’t laughing back then.

In fact, I remember him coming home from work one day, back when we were in our twenties and lived together, and he threw a lamp at the wall. It shattered all over the floor and both of us just stared at each other stunned. That’s when he realized he loved her. What an aggressive way to realize you love somebody.

“Well, how did you deal with it? Other than the lamp thing,” I ask, suddenly feeling really childish for calling up my brother and asking him for what I would calladvice.

“What’s this about?” he questions instead of answering me.

I don’t know why I’m trying to make this so secretive, why I don’t want to be straightforward with him. Part of me is still very pissed at him for the part he played in my ex-wife’s cheating. But he knows I’m into Dakota and knows that I’m seeing her exclusively and I want to keep doing that but I can’t do that if she has someone else in the picture.

I guess I’m also scared of getting my heart broken…again. Because the more time I spend with Dakota the more I realize I never really let myself heal from what Jessica did to me. That might not be a good thing.

“Dakota texted me last night and told me her ex was in town. I guess I just don’t really know what to do about it,” I admit, stepping outside on my balcony to get some fresh air.

“Well, I’ll be honest. There’s not much you can do. Especially since what you all have is so new, you don’t want to scare her away with your jealousy.”

“I’m not jealous,” I defend.

“You’re calling me for advice, Nol.” He laughs quietly into the speaker.

“Okay, maybe I’m just a little annoyed that I don’t really know what he’s doing here and what…” I trail off not wanting to think about the rest, but Mitch finishes my thought.

“What they could be doing right now?”

I take a deep breath. This is what I get for pushing past my walls to open up to someone when I specifically said I wouldn’t be doing just that.

But it’s impossible to ignore with Dakota. The more I get to know her, the more I can’t stay away. I love seeing her smile, seeing her with her little sister. I like learning new things about her, I like hearing her laugh and looking into her eyes. I love what she stands for, how she cares so big for everyone in her life. And how she doesn’t know her worth, but I see it in her. I see how deserving she is because she shows me how beautiful her heart is.

And she’s so soft.Inside and out. I love the way she sounds when I bring her to the peak of pleasure and how willingly she hands over control to me all so that I can show her what it’s like to really be in control.

Mitch is right, though. It’s so new. But it’s real. I never felt that with Jessica. I think that’s why I can’t stay away. And as silly as it may sound, seeing her that first day at the school drop off, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get enough of her.

“Listen,” Mitch breaks the silence. “If you are serious about seeing this girl and really want her to know where you stand, I’d say give her a call or a text and just see what’s going on. We don’t know what this guy is doing here, we don’t know what he wants or what it means for you and her. Maybe she was just trying to be honest with you, and that’s actually a really good thing if you ask me. She could have hidden it from you.”