Page 76 of Rise & Fall
I’m so fucking hard. I don’t even care if someone walks into this room right now. Fuck, the whole hospital could walk in, and I couldn’t care less. I’m so fucking gone for this girl, and she’s not even undressed.
“You are such a gentleman, Nolan.” She trails her hand down from my shoulder to between us. Taking her time as she slides her hand under this pathetic robe-thing. But it’s so thin, I can feel every trace of her fingertips until she slips underneath.
And then, her delicate hand meets my cock. And I swear I’m no gentleman when she squeezes the base. I could rip her clothes off right now and fuck her on this bed and I would show her no mercy, she would know that she is mine.
The look on her face is euphoric. This is not how I pictured the first time she touched me. But her lips are parted, eyes heavy, and her cheeks wear a beautiful color of red, flushed from the adrenaline.
My breathing is sporadic. I know that; I can feel it in the way my heart skips a beat. My blood is pumping feverishly, and I can see the amusement in her eyes. She’s enjoying getting me off right now, and that brings me so much pleasure in itself.
“Isn’t it fun knowing that at any moment, anyone can walk in and find us like this?” She pumps me in her hand. “It’s kind of like when you blindfolded me, Nolan. Everything was heightened.” She teases my tip with her finger, tracing over the small bead of pleasure that waits for her there. Her hips grind against my cock and her hand creating even more friction and I can’t fucking take it.
I press my grip into her hips a little more, squeezing her so tight it hurts me.
“Dakota, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if we go there, and I don’t have a condom with me, hospital and all.” I breathe deep into her neck as I pull her into me, her breaths are deconstructed and laced with passion, almost rhythmic to mine.
But suddenly, she stops. She slowly pulls her hand out from between us and pulls back from my embrace.
“Shit,” she utters quietly, almost like she’s reprimanding herself as she jumps off the bed.
I read her face and see that something has changed.
“What’s wrong?”
“God, I’m so stupid. I’m so sorry,” she simpers, and I look at her concerned. I know she needs to get something off her chest, and I want her to be able to do that with me. She doesn’t need to hold up a front with me.
“What just happened?” I question.
“Nothing, I mean…I don’t know.” She dusts off her skirt, smoothing it back down before grabbing her coffee and taking a large drink.
“Don’t hide from me, DJ.”
“It’s not you, I just…” She sighs heavily, and I finally turn out of my bed throwing my legs off the edge and pulling her in between them, clasping my arms around her back to hold her close.
“Talk to me.” I hold one of her hands with my own and use the other to lift her chin up from looking at the ground.
When her eyes meet mine, I see the struggle in them. The pain that she’s trying to hide.
“Is this about yesterday, by chance?” I ask, referring to the bad day she claimed to have had. We never did get to talk about that part.
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
“Dakota, what’s up?” I drop my hand from her chin and place it on her hip, pulling her in a little closer to me.
I can tell she listens to everyone who will talk to her but has no one who will listento her. I can tell she’s trying to hold on to so much strength to keep fighting for her happiness, to pretend like any of her issues are insignificant and that she can move on without addressing them.
But that changes now.
“I don’t really know why I wanted to tell you this or why any of this really matters.” She exhales and I give her time to think about how she wants to tell me what happened yesterday.
“I see you with Aria and I recognize how awesome you are with her. I love seeing how bright and how caring she is. It kind of reminds me of me and my dad.” I can tell there’s an aura of sadness expelling from her thoughts.
“I also spend so much time with Emsley. Gosh, she’s a handful.” She giggles. “But I love taking care of her and I love being able to see her grow and laugh and learn. And then I see her with my mom and Dex, and I love seeing that even more, seeing her play with her mom and dad and just living her best, little life. I love seeing her make art for our mom and the way she gets excited to tell her about what happened at school.” Dakota takes a moment to relax; I can tell her emotions are getting to her, and it’s hard for me to figure out how to help without knowing what the point of all this is.
“Where are you going with this, Firefly?” I reach out and place my hand, gently, across her cheek. She’s not crying, but I will be there to catch the tears if they fall. I run my thumb along her bottom lip, I can feel the quiver in them. But she relaxes against my touch and continues where she left off.
“I never knew what my true purpose in life was meant to be. As big and serious as it may sound, I always thought I had to create this perfect path of happiness by doing things like going to school for the perfect career, meeting someone to spend the rest of your life with and having the best group of friends. Be this perfect girl who has everything together. And I did, thatwasme. Or I thought it was. I never really did much other than look for my own happiness in other things or other people, I didn’t once think I had it all wrong.”
“Don’t discredit yourself, Dakota. You are a strong woman and not very many your age would be able to say they’ve accomplished what you have. But not everything works out the way we want them to. I know I have shit I had to work through once I realized it was not what I expected.” I don’t really like comparing struggles. Everyone works through their own shit in their own ways and everyone’s journey is different. But all I can do is let her know that I understand that feeling. I really do.