Page 94 of Rise & Fall

I get into my locker for my phone and see that there’s another text message from Nolan. It’s not annoying. He hasn’t been invasive or overstepping. He’s been patient and respectful and for no reason to his knowledge, because he has no clue what’s going on in my head right now.

Dakota, please. I don’t know what I did wrong, and I really miss you. Let me fix whatever is wrong. I don't want this to fade to black.

My gut turns nauseated knowing that this man is left in the dark all because I’m too much of a coward to confront him, to face my feelings, and to get to the bottom of this whole situation. It’s not fair to either of us.

So, I text him back.

I’m at work. But I really need to talk to you. Can you meet me here?

And it’s not more than three seconds later when I get a reply.

On my way.

Without warning, waves of nerves attack my insides in different forms of anxiety, confusion, fear, maybe even guilt and disappointment.

I’m not just upset with Nolan, but I’m upset with myself because I’ve handled this situation all wrong.

I put my phone away and take a sip from my water bottle, attempting to calm my nerves before heading back onto the floor, waiting anxiously for Nolan to show up.

About an hour goes by and my attention has been kept busy with customers and drink orders. Friday nights are usually my money makers. Plus, those drunk college girls from the other night come back and since my coworker Chy isn’t in tonight, I struggled to know what to do. So, I took the fake IDs and pretended I thought they were real.

Oh well, no harm as long as I keep my eye on them.

“What can I get for you?” I ask the old man who sits in front of me at the bar. I lay down a napkin in front of him and listen as he orders a London Cider.

I turn around to grab an ice-cold cup from the freezer and head to the spout to pour him the cider. Once done, I turn back around and lay his drink on the napkin and accept his smile as a thank you. But my eyes are led in a different direction as a shadow approaches my customer from behind.

Nolan walks slowly up to the bar; his tanned and tired face lets me know that he’d been working in the sun today. Which is weird considering he’s still wearing his cast signaling that he should still be resting it.

“Hey,” he says in a low, wavered tone as he comes up next to the guys I was just helping.

“Hi,” I respond back as indifferently as I can.

I look down at the bar top, trying to remember that I have issues I need to resolve with him. Confusion and desire fight for their space in the chambers of my heart.

I take a deep breath, small enough that I hoped he wouldn’t notice the conflict I’m battling.

I look over my shoulder to find my boss, trying my best to avoid staring at Nolan in the eye right now.

“Hey, boss. Mind if I take my lunch?” I ask, nodding my head in the direction of Nolan. Steve looks around the space to make sure it’s not too busy for me to take off before giving me his approval.

I turn back to Nolan who is still standing in the same spot and waiting for me.

“I’m gonna go put my things in the back, meet me by my Jeep?” He nods at me, then I walk around to the bar to go put my things down in the breakroom.

The whole process seems to move in slow motion, probably because I’m anxious about what I want to say, or how he’s going to react when I tell him that I know…if he doesn’t already know that I know.

But also, what does this mean for us? Am I doing the right thing? I mean, sure, it was always inevitable that Jessica and I would meet one day, especially since my relationship with Nolan has become more serious, and I plan to be in Nolan and Aria’s lives. But I didn’t anticipate this to be the way I would truly meet Jessica.

Finding out that we work together, and that she still has strong feelings for Nolan. And they were on a date? He told me that she wanted to meet, and it wasn’t going to be anything I should have to worry about, but if I take into consideration what Jessica said, it was more than that.

As I head out the back and into the parking lot, I try to maintain an open mind by sucking in the crisp, night air that meets my nostrils as I walk toward my vehicle.

I see Nolan, leaned up against my Jeep, his hands placed in the front of his jean’s pockets and his eyes on the ground.

He’s wearing another classic v neck shirt and aCarhartzip up over it. His hair is rather unkempt but it’s in the way that adds to his sex appeal. Just looking at him takes my worries away till I approach him, standing nearly two feet in front of him, and realize that he is part of my worry. And I hate that feeling right now.

He looks up at me, and his dimples barely come out from hiding when he smirks at me.