Page 60 of A Fighting Chance
“I didn’t get to see my dad leave the last time he did because I was at school, and he wasn’t supposed to be gone long. I thought I could just see him when he came back, but I never saw him again. Can you promise me that, when you leave, you’ll see me first? Me, Theo, and Ma? Even if it’s only on the computer, Joel, please don’t leave without saying goodbye.”
His heart wrenched.
Twisted.
Ached.
If Curtis’ spirit was anywhere nearby, it settled inside him for a moment. Just then, Josiah felt like his own flesh and blood.
Curtis’ last action was so instant, there would have been no time to think it over. If he’d had even a split second more, he would have hesitated. He would have thought about Josiah, about Ayesha. And they would have wound up throwing a funeral for six rather than one.
“I promise.”
“Jo.”
They let go simultaneously and faced the patio doors where Theo stood watching them. Theo grimaced, his brows furrowed as he made a smacking sound with his mouth and tongue.
“Crap.” Joel hopped up and raced over. “He’s gonna puke.”
“How can you tell?” Josiah asked, running next to him.
Theo uttered a small cry, hiccuped, and then vomited a mashup of garlic bread, spaghetti, and meatballs all over the patio floor.
CHAPTER18
Ayesha rushed into the house a full two hours later than she’d told Joel she would be. Her last session ran over, and she’d had to request an emergency mental health evaluation and involuntary psychiatric hold for only the second time in her career.
On the way home, she’d called to find out what all three guys wanted for dinner, but Joel told her that she was fine to come straight to the house.
All she’d done since Theo was born was worry, and while she’d done the same with Josiah, she’d had Curtis to lean on. She’d been worrying for so long, relaxing felt threatening, but Joel continued to do that—dangle opportunities to exhale in front of her that she desperately wanted to grab, but she feared getting too comfortable.
“Hey, boys?” She kicked off her shoes. “I’m home. I’m sorry I’m so late—”
Her heart stopped.
For a moment, she couldn’t breathe.
Joel stood in the middle of the kitchen, rocking a sleeping Theo in his arms and singing the main song fromTrolls. Josiah sat on a stool at the kitchen island, watching them with a smile on his face she hadn’t seen in a long time.
Alongtime.
To Josiah, it was a new song, but it had been sung at least twice, to her knowledge, by Cindy Lauper and Phil Collins. As a baby, she would sing to Theo while giving him a bath or setting him to sleep, as she’d done with Josiah. After the movie was released, Josiah would request that she sing “True Colors” at least twice before any other song. Though he never sang along, he would lean against her side while he listened.
Josiah looked up.
He didn’t call out to her, and the smile didn’t waver. All he did was continue to stare at her while Joel sang.
Although Curtis was never far from her mind, these days, it was like he was right in front of her. She saw him all over Josiah’s face and heard him in Theo’s laughs. For a while, she’d panicked when she’d go a few hours, or worse, a day without thinking about him.
She looked over at their wedding photo on the wall, a black-and-white snapshot of one of the happiest moments of her life.
The only time she’d felt his presence stronger than right then, at that moment, within that hour, and with each passing second, was back when he was alive. It was like he’d walked into the room, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed the side of her neck.
Eesh, even when I’m gone, you’ll feel me.
You’ll feel me in the bed next to you at night, as you take Josiah to school, and I’ll be there, holding your hand, during your most challenging moments.
Look for me.