Page 19 of The Surrogate Nanny
She didn’t see me. I know she didn’t, but knowing she still thought of me was...comforting.
“You’ll get it one day, kid,” he sighed.
The yearning to die suddenly eased, and my breathing became easier as I considered stealing my daughter back. But as suddenly as the thought came to me, it flitted away. We’d be on the run, and Anthony would eventually catch us.
I can’t take her being ripped from my arms like that again. Plus, I’m unemployed. I can’t provide for her. She’s better with him.
“Okay, little one. It’s time to go home,” Anthony mumbled as he picked her up. Nori was full of protests, squirming and shouting in his arms. My breath shuddered as he walked away with my life—my baby. “It’s getting dark; we’d better hurry home,” he said.
The despair rushed in once they disappeared out of sight.
What am I going to do? I can’t go on this way. I just can’t. Maybe they’ll return? I don’t have a job. I can visit the park every day around this time. God...I’ve really lost it, haven’t I? I went from suicidal to stalking.
“I should go home. I’ve been drinking. That’s why I’m so out of it.”
Chapter Ten
Anthony
I squinted behind the LED hands-free magnifying glass as I attached a string around the standing rigging of my latest ship-in-a-bottle project. It wasn’t my most complicated build. I’d say the miniature replica of the USS Constitution was for intermediate builders. I was an advanced builder after decades of practice, but I was too distracted by pain and lack of sleep to tackle a more significant project.?
It’d been a week since Nori’s arrival, and I was barely holding it together. I was averaging two to three hours of sleep a night, and between my leg issues, Nori’s cries for her mother, and my guilty conscience, rest was hard to come by. The nanny couldn’t arrive soon enough.
Tugging at the leg of my sweats caught my attention.
“Good morning, Nori,” I said, stealing a glance at the clock on the wall. It was 4:32 AM. Earlier than her 5:30 wake-up call.
“Ma...Ma...Ma...Ma,” she demanded as she yanked away.
“How do you feel about pancakes?”
She stared at me with wide eyes. For a second, I felt she understood what I said, but that was short-lived when she began calling for her Mama. I picked her up and blinked back tears, resolving to the fact that I had to return her to Simone or at least split custody with her.
That’s if she’s still willing to split custody.
Simone might tell me tough tits and demand full custody of Nori, especially after the stunt I pulled. I was wrong for taking Nori from Simone. I knew it when I materialized into her life that rainy night. I knew it when I tasked Jonathan to dig up any dirt he could on Simone, hoping it would make the judge lean in my favor, and I knew it when I limped out of the courthouse with my child screaming and squirming in my arms. My heart shattered every time I looked at Nori’s hopeful face. Her facial features, skin tone, gray eyes, and DNA told me that she was mine, but none of that mattered. To her, I was a stranger—the evil man who took her from her mother and happiness. She was unhappy. She’d barely been awake for two minutes, and the tears were already cresting her bottom lids. I nearly clutched my chest when she poked her bottom lip out.
I should’ve listened to Jonathan, but I was bull-headed and took Nori away from Simone just because I knew I could. I was angry and bitter because I felt everything was taken from me—my parents, wife, child, and leg. Why was I meant to suffer? Nori was supposed to be the one thing in this world that belonged to me.
Whoever said life isn’t fair wasn’t lying.
I smiled ruefully at my child as the tears surged from her eyes. “It’s okay, little one. You won’t have to cry much longer. Just give me one more day. Can you do that?”
Her cries settled. Again, I wondered if she understood me—if she knew I’d thrown in the towel.
“Mama?”
Clearly, she understands me.
“Yes, Mama,” I confirmed with a sigh, switching the magnifying light off. I scooped her up and limped to the kitchen with my cane as she repeated ‘mama’ on a loop. “Can you say, Dada?”
“Mama!” she squawked.
I chuckled at her forceful response. “What were you thinking, Anthony?”
I buckled Nori in her highchair and butted the contraption beside the kitchen island. I prepared batter for blueberry pancakes while an R&B singer crooned in the background. R&B was never a genre in my repertoire; however, my daughter loved it; therefore, I’d love it long after she was gone.
“What are the chances your mother will share you with me?” I laughed loudly when Nori shook her head furiously. “You’ll give yourself whiplash if you shake your head any harder. I get it. Pictures? Do you think she’ll give me pictures?” Nori tilted her head to the side as she contemplated my question. She smiled and clapped her hands, but that could’ve been because I dumped a handful of blueberries on her tabletop.