Page 32 of Sinful Addiction
There it is.The smirk he only shows when mischief is looming.
“For my sake, I hope you’re right.The last thing I want to give them is more ammunition to hold against me.Especially when my sister and her boyfriend will be there.”
“Why do you think they’ll do that?You are wonderful.”
“Because I’m not their golden child.I never followed their plan and when I finally found my own voice, I was scolded for disrespecting the family name.I was labeled ungrateful, selfish and made to feel like I didn’t belong.I don’t think I ever will belong, if I’m honest.”
I cast my eyes out the front window to avoid Antonio’s reaction.I don’t want to see the pity in his eyes.I’ve spent long enough hiding from myself, submerging my vulnerability, that I know these conversations always end with tears.
Letting my shield crack for Antonio, inch by agonizing inch, I know that if things don’t go well from here on out, he will destroy me.I must ensure my heart stays protected.
Silence encases the car.I mull over what this new truce means.We crossed a line tonight and I’m skeptical.Does this mean we’re in an actual relationship?God, I wish I could read what’s inside Antonio’s head right now.
We spend the rest of the ride in silence, although it’s not an awkward silence.It’s calming.There is a high chance the alcohol has numbed my senses to the point of relaxation, but who’s keeping notes?
When we finally pull up outside my building, the air becomes thick.I can feel the intense beating of my heart and it’s making me edgy.I’m becoming paranoid and thinking that this was a trick to get me away from my friends—other men—so he can keep good on the promises he keeps reminding me of.I’m his.
Never have I had a possessive man like Antonio before.I mean, I’ve been around him and ‘with him’ over the last year, but I’ve never thought about why he’s like this toward me.Especially now.Up until a few weeks ago, he’s never once outright claimed me in that way.All we ever did was go with the moment and the moment always ended up with us having sex.
I’ve never dug deep enough to decipher the reason for my erratic behavior around him.I always put it down to him being a sexy, egotistical asshole.
“Why me?”I’m so lost in thought I don’t register what I’ve said until I’ve said it.“Don’t make fun of me, ok?Tonight is giving me the spins, and it’s not all alcohol induced.I don’t know what way is up or down because I’m reeling.I only want to understand.You’re a man who could have any woman you want, and you’re with a twenty-five-year-old girl who has—”
A horn blares behind us, impatient to move into the drop off lane of my building.
“We lost track of time.I should get out and go inside.”I turn my body so I’m facing Antonio ready to ask him inside when he clutches my head between his palms, guiding me forward to kiss me.I sink further into the seat with each pass of his tongue, with each graze of his teeth over my lower lip, and every hum and groan that vibrates through my body.
The horn behind us blares again, but it doesn’t stop us.No, it has the opposite effect.This kiss is shared with urgency, as if neither of us wants to let the other go.
“You should come inside,” I stutter between hitched breaths.“Park in the garage while I head up.And hurry the fuck up about it.”
I’m barely out of the car with the door closed when the squeal of tires and a cloud of smoke is all that’s left of Antonio.
I rush into my building and into the elevator impatient for the damn thing to take me to my floor so I can freshen up before he comes back.Meanwhile, the elderly couple I almost trampled on are giving me and my disheveled appearance sideways glances.
Right before the door opens to let them out, I can’t help giving a smartass comment to wind them up.
“I’ll tell you how it went later.”With a wink the door slides closed and I’m on my own.
I look up as the lights change, tapping my foot and uttering the slow steel shell to hurry its ass up.As soon as I’m out, I back track at least two steps and get hit by the closing door.
“For fuck’s sake, Knox.What the hell are you doing here?Actually, don’t answer that.He made you drive ahead, didn’t he?That motherfucker!”I storm to my door and Knox steps out of my way.I angrily unlock it then slam my purse on the counter as I pass and swap it out for more alcohol.
That’s when it clicks that he knew he was coming back with me one way or another.
I’m a fucking moron.
I rush to the bathroom to quickly check my makeup and hair only to find I look like I got mauled by a pack of wild animals.Running my fingers through my shoulder length hair to tame it as much as possible I still resemble a Frizzle chicken, so I quickly smother my scalp with dry shampoo and cross my fingers.
I’m too late to do any more as Antonio knocks on my door like a crazed man.
I race to the door and spend precisely ten seconds composing myself before opening it.I take a calculated step to the right knowing he’s going to open it with force.
I was right.
Before I can properly welcome him in, he’s skillfully undoing his tie and it's floating through the air as I’m lifted off the floor and into his arms.My lips press to his without question, taking every damn thing I want from him.My legs wrap around his midriff on instinct as he carries me straight to my bedroom.
We’re both so eager to tear each other to shreds that I actually dig my nails into his flesh by accident as I try to pry his shirt from his body.