Page 65 of Sinful Addiction
I stare at the ceiling wondering what will happen next.Hoping he might come looking for me.The longer I lie here the more restless I become and my brain whirls with different scenarios of what could happen next.
I don’t want last night to put a rift between us.Yes, I may have pushed too hard, but he pushed back.Is this what our future is going to be like?Us always fighting instead of taking a step back to let the other breathe.
I slide out of bed and put on one of the robes that's hanging on the door.I’m thankful I wore underwear last night to give me some form of shield underneath this fluffy garment.
Hoping no one’s in the kitchen it being four in the morning, I put on a pot of coffee and sit with my phone at the island countertop.I become engrossed in social media and the latest trends that I lose focus of my surroundings.
“Can’t sleep?”a husky voice asks from behind me.
I jump in my chair, dropping my phone, while placing a hand on my thumping heart.“Vince, what the fuck?”I whisper hiss.“What are you doing creeping around like that?”I add.
His low chuckle fills my ears.“I was coming to get the bosses some coffee.”
“Are they still working?”I ask worried.
“They never stop,” he states.
“Lacey, can I say something that may cross the line?”He looks at me with empathy.
“Sure.Everyone else seems to,” I say with cynicism.
“Don’t be hard on him.He’s doing this for you, ya know.”
I stare at him until he realizes I’m not going to reply.How can I if I don’t know what the hell is happening.Maybe I need to give him space.Maybe me being around is causing him more grief.I thought he’d come out to talk with me by now, or at least come find me in bed to let off some steam.
I wait for Vince to leave, but before he does, he hands me my own coffee with a sympathetic smile.
“Thanks.”I wrap my hands around the steaming mug hoping it’ll take my mind away from the worry of the unknown.
Darkening thoughts filter through my mind, the kind I used to have when I felt helpless.My forehead drops onto my folded arms on the counter, and I drift off.
I’m floating through a cloud of warmth with an echoing lub-dub in the distance.I seem overly attracted to the noise and am pulled by an invisible force toward it.However, its calming strength encourages me to want to go to it.
“Lacey…” a whispering voice speaks in the distance.“Lacey…” There it goes again.My body becomes heavy, and I start free falling until my eyes shoot open and I gasp for air.
“I’ve got you,” Antonio hums as he gently lowers me onto the bed.“You fell asleep in the kitchen.”Humor fills his whisper.
“Sorry, I don’t know what happened.One minute Vince was making coffee, the next I was resting, then…you found me.”I change the meaning of my recap at the last minute to surprise.He came looking for me after all.
“Vince told me you were up.I came to see if you were alright and found you asleep.I’m surprised you didn’t fall off the stool,” he muses.
I look into his worn eyes.“Talk to me,” I plead.I don’t want to fight with him, but I also don’t want him shutting off from me either.
His head bows.I spend the time admiring the sharp angle of his jaw, the days of stubble he pulls off so well.Dark circles form under his eyes making him look worn.Yet when he opens his eyes, they pierce through me with that same dominance I fell in love with.
“No matter what happened last night, or is going to happen in the future, I love you, Antonio.A silly fight won't change that.”I need him to hear this.To know I’m not running away.“I might have some reservations about being kept in the dark, and I promise not to ask for specifics, but please, talk to me.Tell me anything, whether it’s about last night, being cooped in that office, or something that’s on your mind.Anything at all.I want us to be in this together if only a small piece of the puzzle at a time.”
His thumb reaches up to wipe the lone tear that snuck from my tear duct.I didn’t realize until this moment that all I needed was a connection.I need him.
“Lacey.”He agonizes as he voices my name.“I need you more than anything.But I’m not going to use you as my escapism any longer.You deserve better.”His hushed breath sweeps over my skin.
We’ve come to a standstill.A silent conversation asking each other if it’s okay to cross boundaries like before or if it’ll only break us in the end.
“I’m here for you in any shape, way or form.If you want to talk, yell, cry, laugh, have sex, all to help settle the demons in your head, then I’m here,” I reiterate.
“I will tell you what’s happening in good time, but you have to promise me you won’t be upset with what I’m about to tell you.Please keep an open mind.”His hoarse voice is torn.
I know what I need to do in order to keep this ship from sinking.