Page 16 of A Little Luck
Understanding flushes his cheeks, and his small hand curls on my shoulder. “That’s pretty far. How long will you be gone?”
Pain twists in my chest, but I have to do this. “I don’t know. I’m leaving early tomorrow, but I’ll be back for Uncle Alex’s wedding.”
“That’s not ’til Halloween!” Owen’s voice is louder, and I remember being their age and how it always seemed like the holidays would never come.
“I think with school and all, it’ll go by fast.” I hope it will.
Ryan studies me with wide green eyes. “Are you okay?”
Pulling him into a hug, I pat his back. “I will be.”
His arms tighten around my neck, and his little-boy voice is a whisper. “I’ll miss you.”
It’s a punch in the gut, but I clear my throat, giving him another firm squeeze before letting him go. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back, and I’ll text you while I’m there. Okay?”
He nods, putting on a brave face. “Okay.”
I might not be what Piper needs, and she might not be able to forgive me for the past. But I’ll figure out a way to live with it. What I know for certain is I won’t let this little guy down again.
CHAPTER3
PIPER
“He’s gone.” I’m sitting on the tan leather couch in Dr. Cole’s office in Oakville, and the pressure in my chest has only grown heavier in the last three days.
Adam left Eureka Saturday morning, and this time, he didn’t say goodbye.
Correction—he didn’t say goodbyeto me.
Apparently, he stopped by his mother’s house and told Ryan he was leaving, and then he went to Alex’s to let them know he’d be back for the wedding. It was only my house he skipped.
Not that I blame him.
“How does that make you feel?” Drew Cole sits behind a large mahogany desk studying me with calm blue eyes.
A few years ago, a wire story came across my desk about Drew, as she prefers to be called, and her work with paranoid patients, specifically a man who helped track down a murder suspect using the framework of the Nixon-Watergate scandal.
The story fascinated me, and when I visited her to discuss my mother’s condition, we went down the rabbit hole of all the shit I’ve been hiding for fifteen years.
She saw straight through me, which was unexpected, but apparently she’s dealt with trauma in her past as well. Twice a month I make the drive to Oakville, which is far enough away not to raise questions but close enough that I can squeeze in visits during Ryan’s activities.
Her question hangs in the air, and my throat tightens as I consider my answer.
“I feel guilty.” Looking down at my hands, I clench them into fists. “I feel angry. Really, really angry.”
“With whom are you angry?” Drew is about my age, and with her shiny blonde hair, clear blue eyes, and straight white teeth, she looks like someone who has always had a privileged life.
Through my journalistic research, however, I learned her mother died when she was a little girl, her father was a debilitating alcoholic, and her older brother was killed by an IED in Afghanistan.
Just goes to show, you can never tell by looking at a person the demons they’ve had to fight.
“I’m angry at myself. I’m angry at Rex for doing this to me. He’s gone, but even in death, he’s ruining my life.”
“He can only ruin it if you let him.” A black Mont Blanc pen in her hand, and her expression is calm. “Tell me what happened. What events preceded Adam leaving?”
Inhaling slowly, I confess. “He wanted to spend the night with me. I wanted him to spend the night with me, and when he kissed me this time, it was different.”
Heat floods my stomach when I remember that kiss. Years of waiting and longing unleashed in one overwhelming, consuming touch. He was hard against my stomach, and my pussy was so wet. I was ready to let him inside my walls.