Page 28 of Admittedly For Me
“I kept myself busy and tried to find you in every woman.” I look her straight in the eyes as her breath hitches. “If I can’t have you, I at least want you to have yourself. The version of you beyond the fortress.”
“I’m what life made me out to be.” Her chest rises with the new information, and she keeps her gaze down. “I’m not what you need. I won’t do relationships.”
“I don’t believe that. You’re still hurt.” Her mouth opens and closes, but my bluntness shouldn’t be a surprise. “I’ve been there. It’s easier to stay closed off than to let the hurt in.” Someone needs to care enough to hurt her feelings, so it gets through her thick skull. “You’re back in town and I’ll fight to break down those walls, Emery.”
“My parents loved their jobs more than me. Walls didn’t startwiththeir crash.” A vulnerable tone surfaces, and she tries to swallow it down. “My walls are decades thick, Ian. Then the town lost two surgeons––At. Once.” She turns to the sink with aggression, and squeezes more than enough soap to begin cleaning the dishes. “I’ve seen fingers pointing the blame.”
“Blame? You were in high school and just asked your parents to come to your final dance performance.”
“Pretty selfish of me to pull them away from their highly praised job to watch me twirl around.” Within a breath, I’m right next to her. All I can do is shake my head. For once, she’s actually talking about that night, which Hallie and Savannah say she never does. “It wasn’t justtheirlives I affected.” I shut the water off and spin her around to face me as she blinks back tears.
“Emery,” I begin, but she holds up her damp hands, placing them on my chest.
“I don’t need your response.” Her touch warms my heart, but her eyes shift to a look I’ve seen on too many women. “I’ve gotten everything under control with my life now. I know what I need to keep the hurt at bay.”
“Stop letting guys use you for a quick fuck.” I lean down closer as my hands reach to wrap around her wrists, waiting for eye contact.
“I’m the one to make that call.” She is well aware how easily I can read her, and sensing that her pulse is racing as she fights back, letting her guard drop. That alone makes her nervous. I don’t have it in me to call her out on this, though, and I don’t want to.
“I care about you. You mean more than a night to me, Emery.”
“I don’t want to.” The quick tic as she tilts her head, once again, signals a lie.
“Because you’re scared of feeling more?” I’m not backing down until she starts to let her guard down. “Do you feel valued after they leave? These guys probably don’t care if they get you off or no––”
“Drop it, Ian.” Her tone stays sharp. “I’ve let you in enough for today.”
“Dessert time?” I glance around the kitchen, immediately dropping the moment. She’s right. For someone who doesn’t open up, she’s done good this evening. Her throat clears as she pulls her hands away, then turns to a container of cupcakes.
“I haven’t tasted this batch yet. They’re raspberry red velvet.” Emery finds her smile again. Food really is one of her safe havens.
I reach for a cupcake and examine it for extra effect. They’re just as picturesque as the ones I’ve seen on the baking shows my niece likes us to watch. My mouth salivates at the sight. Taking a bite, the cream cheese icing melts on my tongue.
“My God, this is smooth. The icing is rich but doesn’t overpower the raspberry cake. Delicious.”
“Perfect.” She winks. “They’re almost as sweet as me.”
I only smirk, because if she tastes this sweet, then I’ll be a fucking goner. “Indulge.”
“Mmm,” she moans as her eyes fall shut, tasting her own creation. Her head remains low as her eyes peer up.
This woman has so much control over me, and I am starting to lose my own the more she lets me in. “You have frosting.” My index finger curls under her chin as I run the pad of my thumb along the corner of her mouth and over her bottom lip.
Whenher tongue slides out gently to brush against my thumb, the contact hums through my body and straight to my cock. Her heated gaze locks me in a trance. I know what’s on her mind. I watch her chest rapidly rise and fall, as if matching her accelerated heartbeat. My grip on her chin tightens gradually as my heartbeat thuds through my ears. As her hand comes up to hold my wrist holding her chin, she pulls down, and it draws our bodies closer. My eyes stare into hers, waiting for her approval. Emery flicks her eyes to my lips as her tongue darts out to wet them.
Fuck it.
I’ve waited long enough to taste her. My lips press to hers, and we both moan. Savoring how soft they feel against mine, a spark shoots to my toes, and I feel ridiculous with how over the top this is. Her body presses into my chest as she stands on her toes, weaving her arms around my neck. I pull back for a moment, looking down at her as my heart warms. Her smile is soft, but her eyes lure me in as they hold a hint of sensuality. This time she leans in, and I lose it.
There’s nothing gentle about the second kiss. A possessive force takes over me as I claim her. I’ve wanted this moment for so long. We are a steady motion of heavy breaths and colliding lips. Her body conforms to mine, as if made for me. This feels right. So fucking right. My hands slide down her ribs, gripping her hips, lifting her weightless frame onto the counter.
Dinner plates shatter to the ground, but the sound only intensifies the moment. This is really happening. I get to hold her. Taste her. My hand laces through Emery’s hair, and I tighten my fist. Her responding moan is sweet motivation as I tilt her head to the side, exposing her porcelain skin. Running my nose along her neck, I savor having her in my grasp. Then, just behind her earlobe, on that sweet spot of her neck, I press my lips. When she gasps, I bite.
Hard.
With a breathless whimper, her legs wrap around me, and she pulls closer. I grind into her as her hips roll into me, pressing on the tip of my erection. She’s too easy to lose myself in, but I need to keep my own moral ground.
I break the kiss just as her phone rings. Time has never been on my side like it has been tonight. Panting, Emery avoids my eyes and stares at her phone. Her mouth gaped open from shock. She straightens her legs, sliding off the counter.