Page 63 of Blurry Little Lines
“How did you lose her heart?”Please don’t ask why I’m asking.
“That’s complicated, son.” Guilt and pain wash over him, and I know he doesn’t want to crack that vault.
“It’s about time I learn the truth.” I look him straight in the eye, needing answers.
“We can talk on Sunday.” He takes a few steps back. “I have a client to go meet.”
I head home and call Lauren on the way to help me plan out Saturday.
My guitar strums softly in the quiet evening. The country song passes through my mind, mirroring my feelings about everything. I hum along and occasionally sing some lines. “If you ever loved me…” I figured Kelsie had gone to bed, but she walked into the room with a pained face as I sang the last line. “Have mercy.”
“I don't know why you’re nervous to sing for others when you sound like that.” She stops at the coffee table and picks up the drink I made her. “That’s quite the choice of song.”
“You’re the one who wants to stop a flame that’s still burning, Kels.” I regret my words as they roll off my tongue.
“I guess I deserve that.” She nods and turns to leave.
“Kelsie, wait. I’m sorry.” I’m trying to win her over, not peg my emotions on her.
“No, I am.” Kelsie takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch and rests her hands on her stomach.That’s new. I don’t pay any attention to it. “You have been everything more than I could ask for. You had every right to stop me mauling your body for orgasms without even asking how your day went.” She sighs as her fingers fidget. “I’ve felt so out of my body with this pregnancy. I took complete dominance from you during sex, which is so out of character. You haven’t given me a reason to doubt your intentions to stick by my side.”
“Don’t doubt for a second that I’d dare leave your side. I’ve kept my promise to you since I was eight. You’re stuck withme.” My grin spreads, knowing it’ll put her at ease. “Your boldness to take control during sex is sexy as hell, but I want more than just sex with you. I’d rather have an emotional connection with you instead of only receiving sarcastic comments and orgasms. I miss my best friend.”
“I miss you too.” Her hands move from her stomach. “Are you sure you really want this?” Kelsie glances down at her stomach.
“Do I want this surprise gift of a lifetime to share with you?” I shift to face her. “Of course. I can’t wait to hold our little,” I pause, waiting to hear the wordbabyfinally come out her mouth or suggest we open the envelope.
“Dumpling?” She forces a smile, but seems relaxed. “You haven’t checked the envelope to see what we are having? I’m surprised.”
“We could do it now.” I take her hand. “Or wait until the right moment.”
“The right moment.”Good.“Is that okay?”
“Of course. You know I love you, Kelsie.” I kiss the back of her hand. “I’m excited to take on the newborn chaos with you. We’re a great team.”
“I have no doubt about your hands-on parenting role. Mallory and James are lucky to have you in their lives too.” She stands, and I can tell it’s starting to get a bit more difficult with her cute belly. “I’m going to bed. I’m so happy tomorrow is Friday.”
“Don’t forget, tomorrow is pajama day for the kids at day camp.” I join her as we walk down the hallway to our separate rooms.
“Yeah, no doubt about you being a good father.” For a brief moment, her arms wrap around me, and I lean down and place a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
“Then what do you doubt?”
“I doubt your comprehension. You’ll become fearful of growing bored with the same old daily routines with children. You like a thrill, Max. A chase.” She pulls away. “You’re headstrong. I fear your fears.” I watch her walk into her room and my only fear right now is her losing who she was prior to this pregnancy.
Chapter 27
Kelsie
Today has made this thing inside me more real than I can block out. Gone are the days where I could go through the motions and ignore my growing stomach, since kicks and punches are endless. Sure, I’ve felt little flutters the past week or so, but today, my body is making it known that it is hosting a life. I continuously stir the pasta sauce while the kids play a board game. In a few months, I’ll have another child. I can either continue my pity party, or embrace the change and enjoy the support from Max. However long that lasts. Either way, if he leaves, it will hurt the same.
“Hey, pretty lady. How was your day?” Max says, walking into the kitchen. “The food smells great.” He leans over my shoulder to take a peek at dinner.
“It should be ready in about twenty minutes.” I smile as he kisses the top of my head before heading to the fridge for water.
Things have always felt natural with us, yet I’ve been fighting against myself for the last handful of months to embrace it. Memories are everything and need to be made. I take him by surprise as I walk over and grab his hand. Firmly, I press his palm to the lower side of my stomach and watch his reaction as he feels an appendage push against his fingers. His mouth parts as his eyes stay glued to my bump. His watery eyes and smile skip my heart as an awaited emotion comes over me.
“My stomach has been doing that all afternoon.” Why is my voice cracking? I clear my throat.