Page 64 of Blurry Little Lines
“Creating life is mind blowing.” Max takes a knee. He lifts my shirt, carefully keeping his hand in place, not daring to miss another kick. “Don’t kick your mama too hard. She’s doing her best to help you grow.”
“I knew it.” A voice of disbelief breaks our moment as Mallory stands at the kitchen entry. “Did Dad leave three kids?” Clearly, timing hasn’t occurred to my now eight-year-old. My heart drops as Max stands.
“Mallory, let’s sit down and talk.” I feel my hands shake as my heart picks up its pace.
“No.” I can’t tell if she’s mad or hurt, but it’s definitely not the same joy she had a few months ago when she asked me to have another baby. “You’re the one that said James and I were all you need. We already have to share our time with you.” She runs out of the kitchen and my front teeth push through my rolled lips.
“I half expected that reaction.” Max sighs. “You know she hates secrets.”
“This wasn’t really a secret. She never asked.” He quirks an eyebrow, debating about calling me out on my lie, when we hear the door click. “Shit.” My heart drops. “Did she just walk out of here?” I bolt to the front door to find the elevator landing between mine and Adam’s old place empty. “We have to find her.”
“Take James to your mom’s and I’ll run down to the lobby.” Max takes off, and if I knew I could beat him down the stairs, I would have fought him on chasing after her.
My heart stays in my throat until James is with my mother and my father races to the lobby with me. Max is at the front desk when we arrive.
“Did you catch her?” I pant as my brain flashes through the worst cases of her running alone on the streets of this city.
“She wasn’t in the lobby or outside.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I did check the security cameras since the lobby staff didn’t see her. She’s fine, Kelsie.”
“Fine? Where the hell is she, Max?” I raise my voice, not giving a damn if I’m causing a scene.
“The rooftop, looking out at the city.” His hand brushes down mine and he laces our fingers together.
“Let’s go!” I pull him toward the elevator, knowing in a time like this, I can’t fear it.
“Hold on.” He starts in a calm voice. “Give her a few minutes. She needs time to process what she learned.”
“Let’s at least go wait outside the door.” He follows me.
Shame fills me as my fingers itch to type in the top door access code. I don’t have fear that she would jump over the edge, but at the same time, I don’t like her up on the roof unattended. The pinching of my heart is making it difficult to hold in tears. This is not how I wanted my baby girl to find out I was pregnant again. I was a fool to think she’d be fine the longer I put off telling her. I knew work didn’t need to know my personal business, but Mallory has dealt with enough change this past year. Not being able to wait a second longer, I type in the code and push the door open.
I watch Mallory’s shoulders rise and drop with her deep breath as she remains facing the city. Max stays back out of sight as I walk over to my daughter. She glances over her shoulder and blinks an eye roll. I take a seat next to her on the picnic bench and stare out at the skyline with her. She’s the first to break the silence.
“I was hoping for Max.” Now I know I’ve really hurt her.
“Why?”
“He knows what a parent leaving feels like, and you don’t.” Her voice is strong, taking me by surprise.
“Do you want me to get him instead?” As desperately as I want to be there for her, if Max is who she needs to help deal with this, then I’ll take the backseat.
“How did you know where I was?” She avoids my question.
“Max checked the security cameras and told me to wait a few minutes so you could process what you saw in the kitchen.” I rest my hand on her knee. “How did you get up here?”
“I’ve watched you type the code in for years, Mom.” Her eyes sway to my stomach. “I asked for a baby a while ago because I wanted to be a family again. I don’t think Benson plans to move back in.” There’s distaste in her father’s name, but I don’t blame her.
“I’m sorry he hurt you. I’m sorry I let you down with the man I married.”
“Mom, I know you didn’t purposely marry him if you knew he would always be on business and then leave us for a shiny new life.” Her little hand rests on top of mine. “I’m glad Max is a part of our life. He’s my best friend too.”
I sniff as tears fill my eyes and a sneeze sounds behind us. Mallory’s head whips back to Max. Her hand lifts to beckon him over. He walks over and takes a seat on the other side of her. I filter through my brain on how to explain who the father is and how she will take the news. Do I lead into it or just be blunt?
“Hey, kiddo. This new baby is lucky to have the best big sister.” Max’s voice is filled with excitement. “I guess your baby wish came true.”
“Why would I wish for a child to not have a father?” Mallory’s quick wits make me proud.
Max looks right at me, dumbfounded by her response. I know this bomb is one I’m left to drop. Mallory sits between us, looking back and forth as Max and I both hold the same fear of pissing her off.