Page 234 of A Second Dawn
I growl. Smartass women… I seem to be surrounded by them these days. “Just get here,” I bark and hang up.
It’s in moments like these I wish I still had all the resources of my former life at my fingertips. A qualified doctor would be comforting to have here right about now.
Barbara has a lot of experience and knowledge… I know that, but it’s not a medical degree.
But Ella is happy with her, which is what matters. She keeps telling me Barbara is far more useful than Dr. Agosti could ever be. I agree with her, and then point out I had an obstetrician hired. Her reaction? Have a guess. She and Claudette roll their eyes.
“How are you holding up, angel?” I ask, leaning up to kiss her forehead. It’s not enough though.
I’m a nervous wreck. I need more physical contact. My hands tremble as I cradle her face, resting my forehead against hers.
“Better than you, it seems. What’s going on, my love?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, breathing hard. “I’m scared,” I admit, my voice wobbling.
Ella stops bouncing and takes my face in her hands. Despite her obvious discomfort, her focus is completely on me.
Her eyes search mine. “Why? What’s scaring you?” she asks softly.
“I’m afraid something will happen to you and peanut…” My voice is barely audible. “Like it did to my mother and sister.”
Goosebumps erupt on my skin at the memory of losing them, at the same time as my body is breaking out in sweat.
Understanding dawns on my angel’s face, and her eyes fill with love and compassion. She brushes her lips against mine.
“Nothing will happen to me. You and I have been through so much, and all along we’ve been well looked after. That’s not going to change now. In fact, I have this weird sense that our moms are here with me… with us… to see their granddaughter come into the world safely.”
“Or grandson,” I correct her on autopilot. It’s become our standing joke.
She giggles. It’s not as full and joyous as usual, but I’ll take it. I push a strand of hair from her face, staring at her in awe.
“I’ve been so nervous about going into labor. But I’m not afraid anymore,” she continues. “Even though these contractions already hurt like hell.” And as if to prove the point, Ella’s face contorts in pain as another contraction hits.
“Claudette,” I yell through the house.
God, did she not hear me yell Ella’s name the first time? That woman sleeps like the dead.
I squeeze Ella’s hands tighter… in sympathy… in silent support… to let her know I’m here—God, I don’t know. I feel utterly helpless.
Fucker, this isn’t about you! Ella is the priority. She needs you to man up. Get a hold of yourself.
Pushing my trepidations aside, I reach for the glass of water on the coffee table and bring it to Ella’s lips. “Have a sip, angel. You need to stay hydrated.”
She takes the glass from me and gulps it down.
“More?”
“Do we have lemonade?” she asks.
“I’ll check. Are you going to be okay by yourself for a minute?”
Thet question makes her chuckle. “I’ve been okay by myself for the last hour.”
Right… while I was sleeping in total ignorance.
I pull out my phone again and find the music we’ve been practicing breathing exercises too. It’s soothing… not just for Ella. I relax more too, able to take my first deep breath since finding her gone from our bed.
On my way to the kitchen, I stoke the fire, making sure it’s not going to go out any time soon.