Page 7 of Deny Me

Two

When I walkedinto the French Crust Café to meet Luella for lunch I saw her sitting with coffee already waiting for me.

“Thank you,” I said, gratefully.

“Tired?”

“You have no idea,” I answered before bringing the hot liquid to my lips. Lu, being the best friend I could ever ask for, had already added enough cream and sugar to send me into a diabetic coma. Just the way I liked it. “I was up late last night and just woke up a couple hours ago.”

She raised her hand to her chest in mock surprise, gasping, “Evelyn Valero! I was up before you?”

“Only because your job requires you to be,” I deadpanned. Usually, I was up at dawn. I loved the mornings. Nights were fine too, but the way the sun greeted me every day gave me a refreshing start. But the night before I was up until three coming up with new designs. What could I say? When inspiration called, I had to answer.

I had a contract with a fashion website that sold internationally, giving me the opportunity to showcase my designs far and wide. Being a freelance fashion designer had its ups and downs. Almost seven years out of college and I was finally experiencing mostly ups. In the beginning it was hard to get work and there would be times I had to stretch a payment for one job over several months until I landed another. The website was definitely an up. The excitement about what this could mean for my career pushed me to create some of my best work. On a whim, I had even applied for an internship in Italy under the designer, Lana. Why not? However, at some point I needed to break the news to Lu. She wouldn’t be happy about me leaving, even for a couple of months.

But for now I needed a break from work and the ideas racing through my head. “So, how is it really living with a man? Has the glitter and gold worn off after six months? You can be honest now that Jack isn’t right beside you,” I joked. I knew they were happy, but we could always talk more openly without the guys around.

She knew me well and just shook her head. “Jack and I are fine. And great.” Lu reached up, awkwardly placing the palm of her left hand with extended fingers against her cheek. It looked weird, but I figured maybe she had a hand cramp from working on all her science-y stuff at her job. “You should come over for dinner tonight.” She moved her hand again, stretching it against her lips. Still, I said nothing. But I did raise my eyebrow at her, letting her know I thought she was acting weird. “Jameson is coming too. It can be a family get together.”

I had to miss last week’s Sunday lunch when I had to take a conference call with a designer in Europe. So this opportunity to get together after such a long week perked me up. But then I hesitated. Would Jameson bring his new girlfriend? My chest pinched at the thought of being the fifth wheel. Of standing by and watching some girl hang all over him while I had to contain myself and not flirt with him or make him squirm.

But the sadness I felt at the thought of missing out on spending time with him pinched my chest.

There was a back and forth that never went away when I was with Jameson. But the attraction never went away either, not after our grope-fest two years ago. Why did I find myself still lingering over it? We had always been flirty, but it was more of a way to pick on each other, not because we were actually attracted to one another—or so I thought. Maybe it was because I now knew that Jameson had been attracted to me the whole time when originally I thought he was just annoyed and embarrassed by me. It added a layer to complicate everything.

Maybe it was that I compared the way he made me feel to every man I had been with since.

Even as I pushed myself to forget him in the arms of others, I had often gone back to my own bed and touched myself while thinking of Jameson.

And with that reminder I said, “Nah. I have a hot date tonight. I’m hoping for some hot sex to keep my creative juices flowing.” I bobbed my eyebrows suggestively.

I couldn’t forget Jameson, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t try to fuck him out of my brain. I was an independent woman, that practiced safe sex, who needed an orgasm and wasn’t afraid to get it.

“Alright. If you insist,” she sighed, brushing non-existent hair back from her face.

What the hell was going on with her?

I slapped my hand on the table, giving in to my curiosity. “Okay, Lu. Your hand gestures are creeping me out. What the hell is OH MY GOD!” The words bled together without a pause.

She just smiled back at me for finally seeing it.

“Is that a fucking ring?”

She nodded like a damn bobble head on crack. I reached across the table and made grabby hands for her to let me see the rock resting on her finger. It was gorgeous. A rose gold antique band with embedded diamonds, holding a large round diamond, surrounded by smaller diamonds. Diamonds everywhere.

My fingers clenched around hers in excitement. “Jack did good … real good!”

We stood up and did the excited girly hug with plenty of squeals to disrupt the patrons of the quiet Parisian atmosphere of the restaurant. I glared them all down, daring them to ruin this moment for my friend. When a girl tells her best friend she’s getting married, it’s as exciting as if she was asked herself. Just because I didn’t want to get married didn’t mean I couldn’t be excited for my bestie.

Once we reclaimed our seats, I started pelting her with questions. “When? Where? When do we get to look at dresses? Of course I will design your dress.”

“We don’t want to have a long engagement. We’ve already been through so much to get here. We just want to get married and start our lives together.” Her eyes began to water. They had gone through so much together that this happiness was well-deserved. “We also don’t want a big wedding. Something small for just family. We talked about having a destination wedding in Jamaica.”

My body was practically lying on the table, excited as I was to hear more of her plans. I couldn’t wait to help her make her dream come true. “Oh, Lu! That sounds amazing.” I sighed dramatically. “And I guess if I have to go to Jamaica for you, then I will.”

“How gracious of you,” she said flatly before continuing. “Of course Jameson will come, too.” I had to fight picturing Jameson on a beach in nothing but swim trunks. Focus Evie! “Jack is going to ask Shane from the police department to come.”

“Yass, bitch, yass!” I clapped my hands, unable to contain my excitement. “Okay. What kind of dress?” I looked her up and down. Luella was gorgeous, with a fit, compact body. Her dark brunette waves would look amazing against white, or even cream. I had to fight the urge to grab my sketchpad from my bag and start coming up with ideas right then. “Cinderella? Mermaid? Vintage? Oooo, vintage!”