Page 45 of From the Ground Up

Holy hell… she is beautiful. She’s walking with her best friend, Lauren, and a bunch of other girls. As they walk past us smiling, I find myself willing her to look my direction. I can’t take my eyes off her. She has me mesmerized.

Do you see me, Tess?

Do you see me the way I now see you?

Her laughter floats up to me and I hear it… everywhere. I see her glance up at the stands out of the corner of her eyes, smile still in place, and our eyes meet. My breath catches as her bright blue eyes sparkle with mischief. Her smile widens, and her eyes twinkle when they land on mine, and I feel like my entire world has forever changed. Lauren whispers something in Tess’s ear, and she shakes her head slightly and giggles. I want desperately to know what Lauren just whispered to her, jealous that she is so close to her. I’ve never looked at Tess this way before. And as I glance around at the other guys, I notice a shift. They’re all watching her. Her. She turns heads when she doesn’t even realize it. Every eye seems to be on her, and I feel this insane desire to run down the bleachers, shield her from their gazes, and declare her as mine for the entire school to hear.

How long has this been going on? How long has she been turning heads? Have I been blind this entire time, or have all of our eyes been opened at the same time? It isn’t that I thought she was ugly before — it’s just that I never noticed her. Sitting there, watching her walk through the gym until she and her group of friends climb the bleachers and take a seat, I have one thought running through my mind. I’m going to marry her someday. Crazy? Probably. At that moment I don’t give a flying turkey. I can’t think of a single thing other than how to make her mine. I have always liked Tess. We got along well, and her friends are friends with my friends. I know her. But in that moment I realize I want to know her in an entirely different way.

After the pep rally, I waited for her outside the gym doors. My palms are sweating, my heart racing. I can’t understand why I feel so nervous. I just know that, even though I’ve had a thousand conversations with Tess before now, this is the only one that matters. This is the big one. The one that will change my life forever. I take off my ball cap and turn it backward so I won’t miss her walking past. I don’t want anything shielding my eyes from seeing hers.

I see Lauren first and know Tess will be right behind her. I stand a little straighter, thankful that the guys haven’t noticed that I stayed behind. Miracle of all miracles there. Except for Josh. But I know he doesn’t have eyes for my girl. He has his sights set on Lauren. At least that’s what he told me when he noticed my attention drawn to the bleachers rather than the coach on the gym floor trying to get us keyed up for tonight’s game. And when he made the varsity players — including me — come down to the floor with him to help get the students pumped up, I was able to flick my eyes in her direction. I probably looked like an insane person, not being able to stop my eyes from drifting over to where she was sitting. Again, I didn’t care.

The second she walks through the gym doors, I touch her arm. It wasn’t the first time we have touched. Growing up together, we’ve played on the playground together, had recess together, been on field trips and already had a million other memories together. But none of them were together. And this touch? It felt like the first. The first time I touched my forever. I don’t have some crazy electrical shock. I don’t have tingles. I have the thrill and knowledge that I am holding the arm of the person I want around for the rest of my life.

I want to be the reason her heart beat faster.

I want to be the person she looks at with stars in her eyes.

“Hi.” That’s my opening line. Apparently, my tongue has forgotten how to form actual words. My brain has forgotten how to function. And that’s what it came up with.

She smiles a beautiful smile. A smile that is directed only for me. “Hi, Barrett.”

“Can I give you a ride home?” I ask her.

In that moment I know that I want to forever be her way home.

“Yeah.” Her smile is still in place. She didn’t hesitate. It’s like she expected it, or hoped for it. I’m banking on the latter.

“Yeah?”

Her.

Smile.

I am done for. She smiled at me and that’s all it took. I follow her to her locker while she gathers her things. I’m not a bit ashamed to admit that I check out her butt as often as possible. She follows me to my locker while I get my things. We walk out the front door and through the parking lot to my pickup — my dad’s pickup, that is. It is only a couple years old, a maroon Chevy. Dad let me take it often. I never really understood why, but I didn’t question it. I open the passenger door and grab her hand to help her into the seat. Such a simple act but it feels so… good. She lays her backpack on the floor beside her feet, and I find myself ridiculously grateful that she didn’t put it on the seat next to her. I didn’t want a barrier between us. I round the front and climb into the driver’s seat, then throw my backpack into the small back seat of the extended cab.

We don’t talk much on the way to her house. But it isn’t weird. It’s comfortable.

“Are you coming to the game tonight?”

“I go to every game.”

“You do?”

“Of course.”

I love that she goes to the games.

I smile.

She returns my smile.

“Good.”

She smiles.

I pull up to her house, put the pickup in park, and get out at the same time she does. I walk her to her front door.