Page 88 of A Foster Fling

“Boy, answer your mother in a complete sentence! Have some respect,” my father snaps.

My eyes burn and my skin itches. It’s been happening more and more. With the presence of my father, I rightfully feel like someone else altogether.

He doesn’t deserve the air he breathes.

You’re right. He doesn’t.

“Boy!”

“It was just fine, thank you.” I grit out the sentence through my teeth as my eyes begin to burn behind my eyelids.

“You guys need to rest. We’ll handle dinner.” Melanie’s voice makes my head twitch. Not her voice exactly, but the placating manner in which she speaks tohim.

“I have something I need to do. I’ll be home late,” I blurt out.

“What? But we just got home. You sure you can’t stay for dinner?”

Breathing in and out through my nose, I school my features and raise my face to my mother. “No, Mom. Sorry.”

Her eyes soften and it hits my gut. She’s the biggest fool in this family. The biggest fool with a smile hoping things aren’t really as they seem.

Turning around, I take a few steps but stutter when Melanie grabs my hand and squeezes it, letting it go the next instance and walking into the kitchen like it never happened. My father watches her and turns his glare to me. I scowl right back. Six more months and I don’t have to live in this hell hole pretending to be paradise anymore.

She’s ours. She needs to be with us.

She’s not mine. She never was.

The voice inside my head screams and my head twitches from the piercing sound. Leaving through the front door without another glance back, I close it behind, lift my hood up, and walk in no particular direction.

She’s mine!

Shut up! She doesn’t belong to anyone!

She doesn’t belong to him!

She doesn’t belong to me!

SHE BELONGS TO ME!

My hands slap the side of my head, trying to dislodge this madness. My skin itches and I run, run faster than I ever have before. Cars honk and one skins me as it goes by, making me stumble, but I don’t stop. Ican’tstop.

My muscles burn and I welcome the pain. I don’t know where I’m going but the voice inside my head is roaring and screaming, making me feel lightheaded. The sun is beginning to go down and I drop myself in the back of someone’s garage in an alleyway behind a trash can.

Fuck! Why do I feel like this? Pulling my hoodie off, I use it to wipe my face and toss it into the trashcan next to me.

I can’t leave her there. But I can’t stay there, either. My time has come. This is it. I need to go. I can’t stay. Fuck this. Fuck it all! The lies are going to bury me alive, and each day I wake up in that stupid house makes me feel like I’m living in hellfire. Walking through the halls, all I can smell is the scent of someone I can’t have. Someone I shouldn’t want. Someone I don’t need!

A flicker of something catches my periphery and my head turns to the right. There’s nothing there. My paranoia grows. Looking around me, all I see are wisps of smoke behind me on the other side of a short, fenced wall.

It smells of embers and my skin prickles with unease. I run. Something tells me I need to go. I need to see her. She’s mine. He can’t have her!

The path back home feels like it takes longer than the path away. The sun has already fully descended, and it feels like my soul went with it. I’m watching from afar but still feel the strain of my limbs as I continue to run like the wind.

The first thing I notice when I round the corner towards our block is that the car in the driveway is missing. Something’s not right. Why would they leave right away? They just got here. An instinct kicks in and it feels like my vision blurs. My hand is opening the door. I know this. I see this. But I don’t feel it.Why can’t I feel it?

Shut up!

The moment my feet cross the threshold is the moment I feel like my soul is being ripped in two.