Page 52 of Gentleman Sadist
Will didn’t know how to answer the question. They’d technically only spent one night together. The other incidences were more or less fooling around. Yet, he also couldn’t say he didn’t have feelings for Robert as well. They were this weird amalgamation of a pseudo-relationship. “No. I mean, I don’t want us to.”
“Good, because neither do I,” Robert whispered, shutting off Will’s SUV. “Are you sober enough to have this conversation and remember it in the morning?”
He didn’t take offense to the comment. “Yes. I’m tipsy, not in drunken stupor mode. I can’t stand that, and I’d rather not puke my guts up in the morning.”
“Good.” Robert exited the vehicle and Will followed.
“I’ll get the alarm.” He’d put the system in after everything that happened with Tristan.Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.“Welcome to my house.” He unlocked the door and stepped inside to enter the code.
Once the alarm was disabled, Robert joined him placing his bag on the stairs leading to Will’s room. “This suits you.” Like Will’s bedroom, the windows in the living room were floor to ceiling sliding doors, only unlike his room, he kept curtains on them to have some privacy.
“Thanks. I picked it up as a steal. The people who were selling needed to get out from under it so they could move to California. We settled on a price both of us could live with and the rest is history.” He placed his keys on the kitchen island. “Want something to drink?”
“Water?” Robert answered.
“Sure.” He grabbed two bottles. “We could sit outside if you like, the backyard has a spectacular view of the ocean.”
Robert nodded. “I’d like that.”
Will did everything in his power to take his time and prolong their conversation. They had so much to discuss. “Great, I’ll get the fire pit going.” He arranged the wood in the small pit he’d purchased then lit it. “Have a seat.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Robert kicked off his boots then sat, tugging Will down with him. “Much better.” He nuzzled Will’s neck and sighed. “For being a Dom I have fucked this all up, wouldn’t you agree?”
Will sighed. No. Robert hadn’t done anything wrong. He had though. “No. I should learn to use my words better.”
"We both should." He chuckled softly. "How about we start with telling each other something others might not know?"
Something others might not know? He stiffened a little. He had a big secret he’d been keeping from Robert. He’d been the donor to Roxanne and Kayla’s twins. Of course, he was affectionately known as uncle Will, but if something ever happened, he would become the twins’ guardian. “How about you go first?”
Robert’s gaze lingered on Will’s face and he wondered if he’d subconsciously made a face or if the man knew he was hiding something. “I’m a donor.”
Will blinked. “Come again?”
Robert laughed. "It's true. My brother and his wife had a hard time conceiving. He'd had cancer when he was younger, and his doctors determined he was sterile after the first rounds of fertility testing." He took a sip of his water. "We always knew there was a chance, you know? Between chemo and radiation... Anyway, my parents had hoped he was young enough it wouldn't adversely affect him."
“That’s messed up,” Will whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
Robert shrugged. “Cancer, the fucked up gift that keeps on giving.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, since my brother and I are almost the spitting images of each other, he and his wife Meagan asked if I would be willing to donate.”
Will remembered that initial conversation with Roxanne and Kayla. The emotional whirlwind. The trepidation and nervousness. He also remembered the excitement when everything worked out. But, there was also an isolation to the procedure. It was sterile and lacked a connection. Crazy as it sounded, Will liked kids, but to be so far removed from the process... He didn't know if he could do it again for someone else, even though he told Roxanne and Kayla he would father their children. "What did you say?"
Robert quirked a brow. “Honestly?”
“Yeah. What was your initial reaction?”
“I said no,” Robert replied. “I was just starting out at the FBI. I was young. I had plans to open my club with the guys. Being a donor could potentially hurt me and it also had the potential to do damage to my brother and his wife too. I think I was also being selfish. I mean, I wanted my brother happy. I saw how upset they were when our sister announced she was pregnant, but I couldn’t pull the trigger.”
“What changed your mind?” Will pressed. Perhaps they were more alike than Will wanted to admit.
“Meagan got pregnant,” Robert said. “To this day, we don’t know how. The doctor said it was a one in a billion fluke. However, by the tenth week, she miscarried. Her doctor suspected, but no one will ever truly know, there was a mutation in the fetus making it incompatible with life.”
“Fuck,” Will murmured. “I’m sorry.”
“I was too for a long time. In between the miscarriage and me ultimately donating, my brother got a vasectomy to prevent them from ever having to go through the heartache again.” Robert stared at the fire. “Stupid right? There’s no way of knowing if his sperm or her egg or a combo of both caused the mutation or if it was just nature, but my compassionate and sweet brother was determined never to hurt her again.”
“But, the same could have happened if you donated too,” Will said, disbelief filled his voice.
“True. I explained the same,” he replied. “The day I decided to help them we had a long conversation—longer than I do with a sub. We had a list of pros and cons and what we’d all like to see as the outcome of this. By the time we were done, I was happy to help. The process though was grueling. Plus, jerking off in a cup for a sample, isn’t as fun as fucking.”