Page 27 of Their Starlight
Three years at St La Salle and I had almost forgotten the dangers of my real life. Almost allowed myself to visualise a future with a beautiful woman and a big family. Of course, that beautiful woman in my fantasies was Elle. But Elle was starlight, she was going places, she would be adored by many and would never thrive as an old gangster’s wife. Not that she’d want meanyway. I’d done a pretty good job over the last three years of keeping her at arm’s length. Except that one night when I’d cared for her and got lost in the fantasy, lost my resolve and kissed her. If Lance and Hayden hadn’t come home when they did, I would have carried her up the stairs and taken her to my bed.
I sat on my bed and scraped my hand over my beard. It needed trimming, Mum would want me to look my best for graduation. She’d called me earlier, so excited to say she’d bought a new dress for the ceremony. She and my eldest sister would be watching me graduate and I couldn’t muster any excitement for that right now as Elle was in the other room with Lance and Hayden, and I was on the outside.
I dug the heel of my palms into my eyes.Get it together, man.
A knock at my door had me standing quickly and shoving things into an open box in the attempt to look busy and not ground to a halt by my own pathetic thoughts. “Come in.”
Lance swung the door open and stood there in his grey slacks and black fitted polo-shirt, his thick arms testing the sleeves. I smirked. Lance was fit and strong, he could hold his own if needed, but my job was to make sure he didn’t have to. He worked out with me but where I trained for endurance, resilience, and brute strength, Lance trained to get the body he wanted. He had shapely arms and a well-defined six-pack, which made him very popular with women. I was more barrel chested and just a solid mass of muscle, built for fighting, unlike my pretty-boy cousin. Something I liked to tease him about.
“What’s up?” I asked, going back to my haphazard packing.
“I need to talk to you about something, got a minute?”
“Sure.”
He sat down in my desk chair, a plush executive’s chair that was far more comfortable with my weight than the crappy fold-out chairs we’d been provided in halls of residence. Leaning his forearms on his thighs, he looked at his hands clasped together as though thinking of the best thing to say. I panicked.
“What’s happened?”
He obviously heard the worry in my voice and looked up to give me a reassuring smile. “Nothing, cous, calm down.” He stood again, taking a deep breath and shoving his hands in hispockets. “You’ve probably figured out that Elle and I are somewhat of an item now.”
Yeah. That’s been pretty fucking obvious.
At my silence, he continued. “This thing is…” He puffed out his cheeks and expelled a loud breath. “Well, it’s fucking real.”
He looked over at me again, waiting for me to say something but I couldn’t bring anything up over the growing lump in my throat. No, he can’t be about to suggest that Elle would be a permanent fixture. He can’t mean to start a life with her that I would have to view from the side lines. He wouldn’t put her in danger, would he?
When I failed to speak again, he seemed to get nervous, gripping the back of his neck and chewing on his own lip. “I love her, man.”
You and me both, cousin.
“I know she’s not your favourite person,” he went on with absolutely no fucking clue what he’s talking about. “But I want her to move to the city with us. Of course, I’m not backing out on us getting a place together, I want that. But, I want her too. I want to tell her everything. I want it all out on the table and once she’s got her head around it all, I’ll put a ring on her finger and claim her publicly.”
I gaped at him. “You can’t be fucking serious?” I spoke without thinking, rage bubbling in my chest like a hot spring about to shoot.
In a second the man in front of me morphed from my loved-up younger cousin into the next leader of the largest criminal army this country had ever seen. His face dropped into the cool hard picture of control. In this moment, Lance was not my friend or my family, he was my boss. “Excuse me?”
Gritting my teeth and trying to calm my anger, I turned away. I had never wanted to hit Lance like I did right now. Looking back to him I tried reasoning, “Lance, this has nothing to do with my feelings about Elle.”
His expression didn’t change, giving me no indication whether he bought my lies or not.
“Whether you want to believe it or not, I don’t hate her. I don’t want to see her hurt, and Ireallydon’t want to see you hurt.”
His eyes narrowed a pinch, to question me. I’d always admired Lance’s hard persona; he naturally demanded respect and could break hardened criminals with just a look. Right now, I was not enjoying being on the receiving end.
“There’s a reason men in your position marry the daughters and sisters of other men in your position.” I go back to throwing things into the box, I can’t look at him when he’s giving me that cold stare. I tried for an air of boredom to my tone so he couldn’t read the way my heart was breaking.
“They are born into this life, Lance. They know what is expected. You think Elle is wired to take the kind of life you have to offer?” I saw his flinch in my periphery, I was getting through. “The few who have married for love put a target on their woman’s back and are never able to enjoy life, living in fear of their hearts being used against them.”
Lance’s façade slipped, his features softening slightly as his gaze dropped to the floor contemplating my words.
“You love her? Then do the best thing for her and protect her. Protect her from the life you can’t escape, from the people who would just love to break Lance Preston by hurting the woman he loves. Protect her from you.” My heart was thumping in my chest, I’d gone too far and I fully expected him to take a swing at me. I’d let him. If it meant Elle was safe, out of my life, and out of my head, I’d take any number of beatings.
Lance’s lips curled into a snarl as he stared me down, but I saw it in the depths of his darkened eyes; defeat. “I could protect her,” he spat.
“And have her live either in fear or in the dark?” Lance looked as though he was about to say something, but I continued, “Elle wants to be in the spotlight, cous. She wants to live her life on the stage, under the gaze of adoring eyes. You know she can’t do that as the wife of the head of Daos.”
There was a long pause as he just looked at me, his eyes glazing slightly and his jaw ticking as his nostrils flared. He was pissed. “Fuck!” He shouted and threw his fist into the wall, the plasterboard buckling into the studding. He retracted his now bloody hand and looked at it like it was the one to blame. His chest heaved as he worked to bring back the ice cool calm he needed and with a sniff.