Page 76 of Left on Read

I put my phone down and leaned back against my chair. I was the world’s biggest asshole.

I had woken up with a headache this morning, and it was true I’d had trouble sleeping last night. But that wasn’t the reason I canceled on River.

My headache had gone away with some painkillers, and an extra cup of coffee helped wake me up.

Nope. I canceled on River because I was embarrassed as hell about what happened yesterday, and I’d spent most of the night tossing and turning while I obsessed and analyzed every moment of the call.

I’d been in such a panic when I finally woke up at ten, which was way later than I usually slept on the weekends, that I sent that first text before I even got out of bed.

The worst part was how understanding River was. I lied to him, and he was nothing but kind and concerned.

I’d spent the day trying to find ways to distract myself, but I couldn’t focus on anything for more than a few minutes because my brain was too busy beating me up for lying to River while simultaneously reminding me how ridiculous I’d acted last night.

“Ugh.” I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. I almost wished my headache would come back so the pain could distract me from the mess of thoughts racing through my mind at warp speed.

I was just putting my glasses back on when my phone pinged with a notification.

Please don’t be River.

Another wave of guilt slammed into me. I was actively avoiding someone who’d been nothing but good to me because I wasn’t ready to talk to him after spending all day freaking out.

I was the literal worst.

I peeked at the screen. It wasn’t River. I unlocked the phone so I could answer Ryan.

Ryan: remember that girl I told you about?

Hayden: the one in shipping who’s been flirting with you, or the one you met last week at the bar?

Ryan: the bar

Hayden: I remember. What happened? Aren’t you supposed to be on a date with her right now?

Ryan: I thought so but I’m sitting here alone and we were supposed to meet an hour ago

Hayden: Ouch

Ryan: yeah. What are you up to? Is River leaving for work soon? I need drinks and distraction

Hayden: …

Hayden: about that

Ryan: what happened?

Hayden: Too much to type

Ryan: Do I need to get some of the guys together and pay him a visit?

Hayden: No, nothing like that.

Ryan: Do you need drinks and distraction too?

Hayden: Yes and yes

Ryan: let me settle my tab and I’ll be there in 30

Ryan: eat something, put your going out pants on and prepare to tell me everything when I get there