Page 77 of Left on Read
Hayden: Aye aye
I was just putting the last of my dinner dishes away when Ryan pushed my door open and came into my kitchen.
“Are we riding at dawn?” he asked. “I can have the guys here in no time if he was an asshole to you.”
I closed the dishwasher and turned to face him. “No. He didn’t do anything wrong. This is me being me.”
“Are you sure?” He leaned against the kitchen island and studied me. “You look like crap.”
“Thanks.” I pushed my glasses up my nose.
He wasn’t wrong. The lack of sleep and spending the last twenty-four hours in emotional and mental turmoil were evident in the circles under my eyes and my pastier-than-normal skin.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that.” He grinned wryly. “I’m still in bitter mode.”
“What happened?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” I looked around the kitchen to make sure I’d gotten everything. “What happened?” I repeated, turning back to him.
“Got stood up.” He sighed heavily.
“Want a beer?”
He shook his head. “I’ll wait until we’re out. Best to not start now ’cause I won’t stop.”
“True.” I propped my hip against the counter and crossed my arms, giving him my full attention.
Ryan was one of the most easygoing and laid-back people I’d ever met. It took a lot to ruffle his feathers like this. More than just getting stood up.
“I’m just so done with dating.” He pushed off from the counter and trudged over to my couch.
I followed him and sat on the other side as he flopped down on it theatrically.
“It’s the same bullshit over and over. You meet, you chat, you agree to go out, but no one seems to give a shit about anyone else anymore.”
I held my tongue so he could vent.
“Like, I get it if someone decides I’m not the one or they have to cancel or whatever, but tell a guy that. I’m so over being ghosted and stood up and not being allowed to be mad about it.”
He raked his hand through his hair angrily. I hadn’t seen him this upset in ages. This wasn’t just about tonight.
“When did we decide that people’s feelings don’t matter? When did society collectively decide that people’s time doesn’t matter? I didn’t get the memo that ignoring people and not showing up when you say you will is the new normal.” He leaned back against the couch and stared at a point off in the distance. “I’m not mad about people changing their minds or canceling because shit happens, but it’s the total disregard for anyone else that gets to me.” He slid his gaze to me. “I know. This is everything you’ve been saying for years.”
“Yup. It gets to you after a while.”
“It really does. Like tonight. We texted all week, we made plans, we confirmed the plans a few hours before we were supposed to meet, and she still stood me up. I sat there for half an hour before I texted to see if she was running late. She didn’t answer until a few minutes before I texted you. I sat there for all that time worried something happened to her, and she just said she couldn’t make it.”
“Did she give you a reason?”
“Nope.” He laughed mirthlessly. “I asked, and she blocked me.”
“I’m sorry. I know how much that hurts.”
“It’s the fact that she confirmed earlier today that’s really pissing me off. And she seemed excited, so this came completely out of left field. I gave her an out, gave her a chance to cancel, and she didn’t.”
He sighed, the tension bleeding out of him as he sank into the couch. “I know everyone does it, and it’s just how things are now, but I hate it. It’s hard enough to put yourself out there and try and meet people, but it’s so demoralizing to constantly be told you don’t matter. That your time and effort aren’t even worth a fucking message. Dating sucks.”