Page 75 of House of Lies
It’s driving me fucking insane. I want to touch her. I need to touch her. She can barely stand to touch herself at the moment and winces in pain with every sudden movement.
“Just call a nurse, please.”
“I’ve eaten your pussy until you came in my mouth, and you’re ashamed of this?” I arch an eyebrow, still waiting for her to take my hand.
“This is different!”
“Different, how?”
“I don’t know. It just is, all right?”
“Sure, Wildfire. It’s very different.” I mock her, smirking as she gives in and places her palm in mine. I want to intertwine my fingers with hers, but I’m afraid it will be too much suddenly. She stares at our hands, exerting all her strength to stand. My other arm wraps around her waist before I can stop myself.
“I will not hurt you,” I say, which is what she needs to hear.
She nods, leaning her body against mine. She never seemed so fragile to me before. I want to set Mattia on fire. Caelia is breathing heavily and moans with every step she takes. Not the kind of moans I want to hear from her.
“This is not working.” I bend down and lift her into my arms as gently as possible.
“I can walk by myself,” she protests, throwing her arms around my neck.
“Or you can save your energy to fight me. We both know you want to.”
She holds back a smile, closing her eyes. I see red every time I look at her bruises. There’s nothing I can do to get used to seeing her like this, and it never gets any easier. I open the door with my foot, placing her inside, reluctant to let her go. But we’re back where we started.
“Can I have some privacy?” she requests.
“I want to say no.”
“Please, Kazimir.” I look around before I decide if I can leave her alone. “You’re being ridiculous. I won’t throw myself out the window!” I can never be too cautious with her.
I can’t figure out why she insists on calling me Kazimir.
“I’ll step away, but the door stays open.”
“Fine,” she scoffs.
My brain keeps replaying the moment I found her and how she begged me to kill her. I’m sure that if she’s contemplating death, she will find something to harm herself with. I step out, turning my back to her. I move out of her line of sight. I can’t stand still, so I pace around the room until I hear her gasp. I stand at the door for a long moment before she notices me. She’s gripping the edge of the sink, looking at her body in the mirror. Her naked body is covered in stitched-up cuts and bruises.
“Caelia—”
“No, don’t. Please, don’t say anything.” Apart from violently describing what would happen to Mattia, I can say nothing. I step closer, stopping behind her. “I wanted to take a shower. I feel disgusting.”
She already had one, but nothing will cleanse her mind from what happened.
“I’ll help you.” I wrap my arm around her waist, barely touching her. I use the other to trace the shades of purple on her skin. She shivers under my touch. “You’re strong.” I caress her ribs. “There’s so much fire inside you, Caelia.”
“No, there’s none left.”
I don’t think she realizes it, but she tilts her head back onto my shoulder. My hand continues to travel up and down her body.
“It’s still there. And I won’t let it go out. Tell me where it hurts so I can help you heal.”
“Is this another poisonous lie?” She closes her eyes.
“No. No more lies. I promise.”
“Then give me this truth, Kazimir. Why do you want me to come with you?”