Page 18 of Broken Empire
They’rethe ones who make you bleed the most, because they’re the ones that will break you the worst.Nomatter how much you try to love them, or how much you try to give them every piece of you, they take it and destroy it.Leavingyou with more cracked pieces than you had before.
IthoughtMasonwas my one.Thoughthe’d love me forever, just likeIhad from the moment we met as children.Evenback thenIknew thatIwanted him to be a part of my life for years to come.Thosegreen eyes of his captivated me like nothing else ever has.
Loveis never easy, butIdidn’t foresee him being my ruination…
NowIguess none of that matters because he wasn’t there for me when it would have counted.WhenIwas losing my mind and needed him the most.Hejust tossed me aside without listening to my side of things.Hishate for me became so real it felt like it was choking me day in and day out for months.
Hedidn’t care thatIcouldn’t breathe, since he was the one intent on snuffing my air out.Thephantom pain of remembering feels like a new wave of agony is crushing me.Idon’t know ifI’llever be able to trust him with my heart again.Idon’t even know ifI’meven capable of loving him anymore.
Fuckinghell, who amIkidding?Istill do.I’llnever be able to stop butIdon’t know how things will ever be the same again.Hebroke me butIstill love him.Whatthe hell does that say about me?
Ijust want to disappear from his life soIwon’t have to see him anymore.Ifeel like the last bit of me, of whoIused to be, is disappearing and there’s nothing but an empty and broken shell left in its place.
“It’llbe okay,”Scarlettsays a moment later, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“Youdon’t really believe that do you?”Ianswer, a hollow laugh leaving me.
Shedoesn’t answer, but she doesn’t have to.Weboth know that nothing is ever going to be the same again, even if we do make it out of here alive.
Wespend the rest of the afternoon in silence.Iguess we both have a lot on our minds.Ijust lay there on the bed and stare up at the ceiling.Thoughtsof what’s going to happen to me here consuming me.
Itmust be hours later when one of the assholes working here brings dinner for both of us.Heleaves it by our cage doors and then walks away, back in the direction he came from.It’sa plate that looks like something you’d get in prison then again, we are being imprisoned soIguess it’s fitting.
Idon’t move to touch mine;Ijust keep laying there.Idon’t have the urge or even the willpower to, ever sinceAntoniothe monster revealed himself to me, my stomach has been in knots.Ihear the clanking of chains asScarlettmoves to get her food.
“Youshould probably eat something to keep your strength up.Idon’t want to be the bearer of bad news but you’ll probably need all the energy you can get for whatever he has planned for you,” she tells me.
“Iknow.That’swhatI’mworried about and that is what’s making me feel too queasy to even think about eating anything,”Itell her. “Thenot knowing what he has planned for me is pretty much killing me inside.Imean he must have a lot planned because he spent fucking months stalking me in the shadows, while pretending to be my friend in the light.”
“I’msorry.Iknow it’s not much considering… but just knowI’llbe here for you for as long asI’min this cage opposite you,” she tells me.
“Iappreciate it,”Itell her honestly, feeling choked up again.We’rein the same position so she can’t possibly betray me, right?
* * *
It’sa new day,andIknow this because one of the men just brought breakfast for us.ThoughI’mstill not able to eat anything.Ididn’t sleep a wink at all last night andIcan feel the headache starting to build already.
Inall honesty it’s becauseI’vebeen on edge sinceAntonioleft me yesterday.Inever even ate the dinner they brought.NowIfeel like a zombie.Mymind has been in constant turmoil wondering what the hell he meant when he said that he was going to have so much fun with me.Definitelynothing good is whatIknow for sure.
Imanage to drag myself up and out of the bed to use the toilet to pee before going back.ThistimeIsit on the bed with my back against the wall and my knees up to my chest.Irest my head on my knees and close my eyes for a second.
Itry to will the headache away, thenItry to pray for sleep to claim me because sleeping away this horror sounds like a better idea, compared to being awake and overthinking it to death untilIdrive myself crazy.
Ihave no idea how longIsit there like that, sinceIhave no concept of time anymore, butIlift my head up whenIhear the sound of footsteps coming back down the hallway.Iknow for certain it isn’t dinner time yet so that can only mean that it’shim.I’mwary of what he could want when he finally appears in front of my cell.
“Well, hello,cara.Itrust you slept well last night,” he says with a smirk on his face.
“Don’tcall me that, asshole!”Isnap at him.Rightnow, allIcan think about is how muchIhate him because of all the memories that word is bringing up.Memoriesof him helping me get through things and lending me a shoulder to cry on are now tainted, because it was all fake and nothing but manipulation on his part.
“Beautifulday, isn’t it?” he asks with a smile on his face, ignoring my little outburst just now.Rightnow,Iwant to do nothing more than slap myself silly.
HowdidInot see the evil that was lurking inside him?Becausenow thatI’mwatching him,Ican see all the malice and callousness he’s no longer trying to hide.Oh, that’s right.Ihave the judgment of a dummy sinceIkeep trusting the wrong people, constantly.
“Iwouldn’t know what the day looks like since some asshole decided to lock me up in a place where there’s no fucking window!”Isnap at him.
“Iwould apologize that the place is not up to par to what you’re used to, but ifIdid,I’djust be lying, sinceI’mnot the least bit sorry,” he smirks.
“Figures.Whatthe hell do you want then asshole?SinceIknow this isn’t a fucking social call,”Isneer at him.