Page 69 of Becoming

“Wait,” Rebecca shook her head and patted Cassidy’s arm to let her go. Once again, she nimbly turned herself around to face her girlfriend. “Why don’t you start at the beginning and try to be a little more comprehensible. You did what?”

Cass took a breath. “All right. So, I got a copy of Samantha’s autopsy report and took it to Hunter for her opinion.”

Rebecca stared at Cassidy for a full minute, mouth agape. “You—I.” She rubbed her wet hands over her face, forgetting about the bubbles. “How? Let’s start there. How did you get the autopsy report?”

Cass shrugged sheepishly. “I used my new artist status with Mrs. Sumptor-Riley to ask her for a favor. That woman is probably more influential than any damn president.”

Rebecca was too shell-shocked to appreciate the small joke. “Go on.”

“Ahem, right. So, she came through with the report and I took it to Hunter. Baby, I asked her for her professional opinion on whether there was anything at all that you could’ve done to help Samantha.”

Blood pounded in Rebecca’s ears. How would she react if she knew for sure that her actions killed the woman she spent years with? “And what were her findings?”

Cass took Rebecca’s shaking hands in hers. “Rebecca, she staked her reputation on the fact that there was absolutely nothing you could have done to save Samantha. She said a lot of medical mumbo jumbo, but the way she explained it, Samantha was dead the moment she took that last hit of heroin.”

“But, if I had…”

“No, baby. No ifs. She said that the paramedics would never have made it on time even if you called the moment she started feeling pain. You see? You’re holding on to unearned guilt. You can let it go, baby. You can let her go.”

Cass held her breath as Rebecca became silent again. Had she gone too far? Rebecca was a very private person and Cass went and involved others in what was surely Rebecca’s deepest anguish. Shit. I fucked up.

“Say something, please?” Cass begged quietly.

Rebecca’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I know I shouldn’t have…”

“Thank you,” Rebecca whispered.

“W-what?” Cass sputtered in surprise.

Rebecca took a breath and for the first time in more than fifteen years, she felt peace. “Thank you for loving me enough to do that for me.”

Cass shrugged self-consciously. “I had help. Hunter and Eve both expressed regret that they didn’t think to do it years ago.”

“They were probably as afraid of the answer as I was. But you did it, Cassidy. You did what I couldn’t do for years. What I’ve been afraid of doing. Fear that learning the actual truth would destroy me.” She turned again, not wanting Cassidy to see the tears. The weight that was lifted off her shoulders was immense. Almost unbearable. But such a relief that she couldn’t hold back the tears.

Cass didn’t miss the waterworks, but she said nothing. Instead, she embraced her girlfriend with loving arms.

“I’d do anything for you, Rebecca.”

Rebecca leaned her head back on Cassidy’s shoulder. She didn’t think her voice would hold out if she answered to that, so she asked the question that lingered in her head. “What if the results had been different? Would you have told me?”

Cass thought about it for a second. “No.”

Rebecca nodded slightly. She appreciated Cassidy’s honesty. And the fact that her girlfriend would have shielded her from more pain if needed. Perhaps some would think that was the wrong thing to do, but for Rebecca, it meant the world. It meant Cassidy loved her enough to protect her.

“I am, you know,” Rebecca said softly.

Cass frowned in confusion at Rebecca’s words. “You are what?”

“Letting her go. I’m selling the club.”

It was Cass’s turn to be shocked into silence. Yeah, she had argued with Rebecca about it. She said some things she probably shouldn’t have said (as she tended to do with her word vomit). But thinking about it now, Cass wasn’t sure she wanted Rebecca to sell the place. It was where they met. Where they had some of the most erotic moments of their lives. But it was also the place that held the most pain for Rebecca. If Cass wasn’t so selfish, she’d be happier with this news.

“Huh?” Cass rolled her eyes at herself. The woman tells you she’s doing what you asked, and you’ve lost your communication skills. Dumbass.

“I don’t want you to ever think I’m not giving you all of me.”