Page 126 of A Forever Love
“Looks like you got your arm back, Captain Hook.” Birdie hugs me before I go to her fiancé.
“How are you feeling, kiddo?”
“I’m all good.” I gently move my arm, now with almost full movement.
“Still, take it easy for a few more days,” he says in a low voice, and I give him a nod in reply.
“You guys are here to see Melanie?” Uncle Connor observes, noticing the tulips in my hand.
“Yeah.” But before Dad and I can leave, I ask, “Have you seen Carter recently? Is he doing well?”
He doesn’t reply immediately, his gaze shifting behind me to Dad, but I simply wait for his response. “He’s good. He’ll be in Cherrywood for a bit longer.” Uncle Connor then leans in and holds my hand. “Right now, your most important task is to get better, kiddo. Don’t worry about anything else.”
After placing the tulips on the pedestal, we settle on the green grass. Dad’s heavy boot touches my sneaker, and he finally breaks the silence.
“I can’t forgive him for what he did, Mere. It has nothing to do with who you both are. I mean, I’m pissed, but more at myself for missing it. There must have been some signs. How did I not see them? But this is more than him being older than you or you knowing him since you were five. This is about what he did to you four years ago. I don’t even fucking know what happened. Lukas told me that you found him with someone else.”
His fists clench and his jaw tics. “I don’t care about all that. The only thing I care about is you.” He holds my wrist, his thumb right on top of the lily semicolon tattoo. “I can’t allow you to go in a direction I know is risky for you. I’ve had enough fuckups as a dad. I can’t add more to the list.”
I grip his clenched hands and gently urge him to uncross his arms, then bury my face in his chest. A moment passes before he tightens his embrace around me.
“You were never a fuckup, Dad. You were and are the best father and the most amazing human being. Someone who loves hard and didn’t know what to do when that love disappeared.”
His breathing quickens with my every word.
“All my life, I wanted to be like Mom,” I continue. “Brave, with a spirit of fire. But that’s not who I am. I’m like you, Dad, even if I tried not to be. Four years ago, I felt the pain you endured for ten years. It was worse than the gunshot. It hit me so hard that I fell, and I didn’t want to get up. I ran away, not because of something Carter did, but because I didn’t want to become like you. I didn’t want to chase a love that was lost, Dad.”
His arms around me are like iron bars right now.
“For the longest time, I believed I was cursed when it came to love. I thought whoever I loved would be taken away from me, including you, just like Mom, but then Carter came along. I loved him as a friend and nothing more. He was never your replacement in any way. You were always enough. He was just my happy place when things around me were sad. But then four years ago, I told him…how I felt.” I hear Dad’s sharp inhale. “And a few months later, Lily died.”
“Merida.”
“I know it sounds stupid, but I couldn’t shake the thought that when I admitted my love for Carter, I somehow passed on my curse to him. It made coming back home even more difficult.” I gaze into his eyes, which are filled with tumultuous emotions. “That’s why I got this.” I place my tattooed wrist between us. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault—neither his nor yours nor mine. I just had to accept that I was like you, someone who loves deeply and fiercely.”
“Mere?” His voice quivers as he draws me closer.
“He’ll wait, Dad. He’ll wait for as long as you need to accept him. But I just want to tell you, Carter’s the one for me. The one who makes my heart beat.”
He closes his eyes, his expression filled with uncertainty.
“I swear, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, Dad.” I pull back, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “I just need you to know the truth. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would never revert back to being the weak girl I was four years ago. So don’t worry about that. I could never hurt you that way. If you need more time, I completely understand.”
* * *
“So you’ve made a decision?” Brandon asks for the millionth time, his face still serious on my phone screen.
“I have.”
“And you’re sure about it?”
“Has your hearing gone bad?” I finally lose my patience. We went through this just three seconds before.
“No, Merida Adams, my hearing is perfect. But can you imagine my shock that you don’t want to stay in St. Peppers, glued to Carter’s hip, after knowing that he loves you like crazy?”
My lips curl up, imagining the picture he just painted.
“Is it because of your dad?” he asks carefully, and the smile on my face evaporates faster than it made an appearance.