Page 38 of Dawn of Hope
He presents me with the dagger, and I’m shocked to find it is an exact match for the crown Tila said he had made for today. The filigree carved into the golden hilt sparkles in the reflected firelight of the room. The cross-guard is inlaid with black stones, and the pommel holds the largest of the stones, surrounded by gold and diamonds. The thin blade is made of steel so pure it is almost white, the edges gleaming and sharp, and culminating at a deadly point.
I love it. I am shocked my father could design something so beautiful, especially for me. As I stare at the dagger, it almost feels for a fleeting moment, like he actually cares.
But the empty silence in the room is all the reminder I need that he doesn’t.
I reach out and take it from his hands. I hold it up in front of my face, blade pointed to the sky, just as Edmond and I had practiced.
“I promise to protect my kingdom, the kingdom of Blackwood, with my life. I promise to serve and do what is right for the betterment of the kingdom and its people until the day I die.”
My eyes don’t stray from his emotionless face as I say the words. I hope he can feel the anger exuding from my body on what is supposed to be one of the best days and celebrations of my life.
I slide the dagger into a small loop on my side that Tila had shown me acted as a holster for the ceremony. Having it at my side instantly makes me feel so strong and beautiful anddeadly.
He gestures for me to turn to complete the presentation and his voice booms in the hollow room. “Princess Lennox Holt, first of her name, the future queen of Blackwood.”
A chorus breaks out amongst the few people in attendance. “Long live the princess, long live the king!”
I finally turn and let myself look at everyone here as the underwhelming smattering of applause brings the ceremony to a close. Edmond is clapping alongside Tila who must have snuck in behind me. Brynne is standing at attention, along with a few other high-ranking guards she must have permitted to attend. Addy, as well as a few other staff I have known throughout the years, are also clapping with smiles on their faces.
That’s it.
My heart swelled at the sight of them. Even though this is their job, I know each of them came tonight because somewhere deep down, they care for me. I don’t know if they knew what my father had planned, but they showed up anyway. They were here for me when no one else was, but that couldn’t overcome the overwhelming disappointment from the rest of this ceremony.
The clearing of a throat from behind me stops the applause. “As all in attendance this evening are from within our walls, a ball will no longer be necessary. All are welcome to the feast the kitchen has prepared?—”
I don’t stay to hear any more of what he has to say, not after all of this. I start down the aisle, without turning back, my abrupt exit causing his speech to halt.
I don’t care. Footsteps and the clank of armor come up quickly behind me, and I swiftly lead Brynne out of the throne room and head straight to my chambers.
I am not staying for a feast. I won’t be humiliated any further. It is a waste of my time. No wonder he had shrugged off any attempt atdiscussing talking points for me to prepare for the other kingdoms. He had no intention of having anyone here.
It is over. Done. The ceremony is complete. I am going to be queen, and there isn’t anything he can do to stop me from doing what I need to.
I promised my mother I would not stop, and tonight’s failure of a celebration is further reason that I need to find an answer. I need the parent that wanted me, the one who loved me before she knew me, not ignored me. Fury and hope and desperation mix in me as I stomp up the main staircase, trying not to trip over the once beautiful and now stifling gown.
I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know where anything is going to lead, but I know that it is time to take charge of my life.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ipush the door closed behind me once I reach my chambers, but I don’t hear it slam.
“Lennox.” I knew Brynne was tailing me throughout the castle after I stormed off from the ceremony, but I had hoped she would give me at least a minute alone to collect myself.
“What Brynne?” I growl back at her. I rip the dagger from the loop holster, slicing right through it before I slam the blade onto the sitting table. Tila won’t be happy that I sliced through her masterpiece, but at least it was only that and I didn’t cut myself out of the bodice. Yet.
I reach behind me and start unknotting the ties, pulling and loosening the ribbons of the corset. My breaths are heaving, not only from my run through the castle, but from holding everything in through that piss poor excuse of a coming-of-age ceremony. I feel the bodice fall and rip it off as quickly as possible. I throw the dress on the chaise and walk over to my wardrobe, crouching down to dig out the new clothes I had stolen from the laundry and stowed in the back of the wardrobe.
“You must know that the king only wants to ensure that you are protected,” Brynne says as she approaches me, her voice almost pleading.
I whirl on her, my feet snagging on the long silk slip I wore under the dress and causing me to stumble.
“You knew? You knew this whole thing was going to be a complete embarrassment? A farce? That he invited no one?”
Her gaze drops to her feet, and that is all the confirmation I need.
My rage echoes through the room as I yell at Brynne for the first time since she walked into the castle. “You let me go in there like that? Completely unprepared? Some fucking friend you are.” I stomp over to the changing screen and start pulling on the new clothes. The pants and tunic are different than the normal servant uniform, but I don’t care. I’m comfortable, like any old day in the sparring rings. I feel like me.
I want to feel like me tonight.